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should students wear uniform at school

should students wear uniform at school E36ar
In many country, students have to wear uniform when they go to schools. In Korea, Students who enter middle schools start to wear school uniforms for the fist time. These day, as students' rights become stronger, people who oppose the idea that students should wear school uniforms have begun to emerge. On this issue, I don’t think students need to wear school uniform. There are quite a few inconveniences that I felt while wearing school uniform for 5 years in Korea. There are the reasons that I disagree with the issue ‘Should students wear uniform? ’. Firstly, students have the right to wear what they want. They have the right to freely choose what they want to wear. This 'choice' can be a good experience in making a more desirable choice later in society. And, teenagers have a strong desire to decorate themselves as they grow up. Next, school uniforms are uneconomical. In Korea, students have to buy school uniforms before they enter. But they have to pay at least 200 dollars to buy school uniforms. Teenagers grow up at a rapid pace. Therefore, school uniforms become unsuitable for the body, and every time they grow up, they have to pay a lot of money to buy them. Lastly, school uniforms are uncomfortable. School uniforms should be comfortable because students have to wear them all day long while studying. But when you try it on, it doesn't stretch easily and it's hard to move. So many students don’t want to wear school uniforms. For these reasons, I disagree with the opinion that students should wear school uniforms. I think it would be best for students to wear clothes that are most comfortable, fit and look good for themselves.
In
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many
country,
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students
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have to
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wear
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uniform
when they go to
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schools
. In Korea,
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Students
who enter middle
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schools
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start
to
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wear
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school
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uniforms
for the fist time.
Did you mean "this day" or "These days"?
These day
, as students' rights become stronger,
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people
who oppose the
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idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
have begun to emerge. On this issue, I don’t
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think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
. There are quite a few inconveniences that I felt while wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
for 5 years in Korea. There are the reasons that I disagree with the issue ‘Should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
? ’.

Firstly
,
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students
have the right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
what they want. They have the right to
freely
choose what they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
. This 'choice' can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experience in making a more desirable choice later in society. And,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have a strong desire to decorate themselves as they grow up.

Next
,
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school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
are uneconomical. In Korea,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
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buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
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before
they enter.
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But
they
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have to
pay at least 200 dollars to
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buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
grow up at a rapid pace.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
become unsuitable for the body, and every time they grow up, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
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a lot of
money to
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buy
them.

Lastly
,
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school
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uniforms
are uncomfortable.
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School
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uniforms
should be comfortable
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because
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students
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have to
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wear
them all day long while studying.
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But
when you try it on, it doesn't stretch
easily
and it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
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move
.
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So
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many
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students
don’t want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
uniforms.

For these reasons, I disagree with the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would be best for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
clothes that are most comfortable, fit and look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for themselves.
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IELTS essay should students wear uniform at school

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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