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Should students have a wide range of knowledge of many subjects or specialize in one subject.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Should students have a wide range of knowledge of many subjects or specialize in one subject. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 2bPPM
There was the time when professionalizing ensured a well-paid job. However, almost every social value has collapsed due to the explosion of technology, especially in education aspect. In my humble opinion, students should prioritize to lay a solid foundation based on the multidimensional comprehension. In the first place, drawing a comprehensive picture changes student's thinking completely to meet the pace of time. In fact, the rise of the Industrial Revolution resulted in a period in which the combination of assembly line system and specializing of worker was the critical demand to create an epoch that we still call today the golden age of mechanism. On the contrary, the backbones of global economy have no longer the primitive manufacturing but a modern complex manufacturing that requires a combination of comprehensive understands in many fields of life. To become an irreplaceable link in the chain of fresh-born labor, young generation must prioritize building a platform of knowledge in many areas before focusing on their major. For instance, SpaceX - a technology company in field of space exploration - has dreamed a vision that materializes launching human into space with a lowest cost. Indeed, the success of carrier rocket Falcon 9, the first renewable rocket in the course of history, is the most convinced example for demand of owning a multidimensional platform of knowledge. This project motivated each staff to research a series of areas such technology, economy, and law to interact with his/her teammates in a highest level that never seen before. It pointed out that humans are on the way to a new era in which broadening knowledge is the most crucial priority. On another hand, the explosion of AI (Artificial Intelligence) could change significantly the core platforms that our working aims to. Indeed, AI is on the way replacing human in field of banking and accounting, or even further, in almost every areas of life. In that ideal world, what can we do to feel the life instead becoming a pseudo-naturalistic creature who is led astray from the values of life? In that scenario, human would focus on the values of literature or art. We might learn more about the masterpieces which once shaped the civilization. For example, the project Asgardia of a Russian billionaire is planned to build an independent nation in outer space. It is estimated to provide about 200, 000 positions to become an Asgardian who owns the abilities to build a new world in case the Earth faced its apocalypse due to the internal and external hazards. Hence, having a wide range of knowledge is absolutely an advantage. Last but not least, we might not have to wait for so long when scientists discovered an elixir of life to prolong human age. The gift of an incredible longevity is to use for mastering every aspect we concern. Therefore, it is no doubt that people, especially the youth, have to prepare a right conception of learning in a large number of subjects. In conclusion, enriching knowledge in many fields is the best way to optimize the efficiency of working. It is also the way human have to evolve in the future. Therefore, I strongly encourage student to master the platform of multidimensional knowledge.
There was the time when professionalizing ensured a well-paid job.
However
, almost every social value has collapsed due to the explosion of technology,
especially
in education aspect. In my humble opinion, students should prioritize to lay a solid foundation based on the multidimensional comprehension.

In the
first
place, drawing a comprehensive picture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
student's thinking completely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the pace of time.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
fact, the rise of the Industrial Revolution resulted in a period in which the combination of assembly line system and specializing of worker was the critical demand to create an epoch that we
still
call
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the golden age of mechanism.
On the contrary
, the backbones of global economy have no longer the primitive manufacturing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a modern complex manufacturing that requires a combination of comprehensive understands in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To become an irreplaceable link in the chain of fresh-born labor, young generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prioritize building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
focusing on their major.
For instance
, SpaceX
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
a technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of space exploration
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
has dreamed a vision that materializes launching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
into space with
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
lowest cost.
Indeed
, the success of carrier rocket Falcon 9, the
first
renewable rocket in the course of history, is the most convinced example for demand of owning a multidimensional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. This project motivated each staff to research a series of areas such technology, economy, and law to interact with his/her teammates in
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest level that never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. It pointed out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are on the way to a new era in which broadening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is the most crucial priority.

On another hand, the explosion of AI (Artificial Intelligence) could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
significantly
the core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
that our working aims to.
Indeed
, AI is on the way replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of banking and accounting, or even
further
, in almost every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "area"?
areas
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In that ideal world, what can we do to feel the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
instead
becoming a pseudo-naturalistic creature who
is led
astray from the values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
? In that scenario,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
would focus on the values of literature or art. We might learn more about the masterpieces which once shaped the civilization.
For example
, the project
Possible spelling mistake found.
Asgardia
of a Russian billionaire
is planned
to build an independent nation in outer space. It
is estimated
to provide about 200, 000 positions to become an
Possible spelling mistake found.
Asgardian
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
the abilities to build a new world in case the Earth faced its apocalypse due to the internal and external hazards.
Hence
, having a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is
absolutely
an advantage. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, we might not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long when scientists discovered an elixir of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to prolong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
age. The gift of an incredible longevity is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for mastering every aspect we concern.
Therefore
, it is no doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
the youth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
prepare a right conception of learning in
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
subjects.

In conclusion
, enriching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
is the best way to optimize the efficiency of working. It is
also
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
evolve in the future.
Therefore
, I
strongly
encourage student to master the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
of multidimensional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
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IELTS essay Should students have a wide range of knowledge of many subjects or specialize in one subject. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
536 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Should students have a wide range of knowledge of many subjects or specialize in one subject.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.