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Should students be barred from taking cell phones to school?

Should students be barred from taking cell phones to school? aQDQo
Students should not be barred from taking cell phones to school. They can reap huge amounts of benefits of cell phones when bringing them to schools. First, they can find a lot of advantageous information to learn effectively in their lectures by using phones. Second, there are many educational applications which allows the students to handily join compelling competitions and makes the study mood more ebullient. Besides, if students are taught by real images or videos through their phones, they can understand clearly and these knowledges can last longer in their minds. For example, if they learn about the horrors of wars and they are shown the documentary sources of the consequences of wars like the images of revolutionary martyr, shooting scenes, . . , they can know thoroughly about it. These reasons show vividly that it is more beneficial to let students bring their phones to school.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
should not
be barred
from taking cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to school. They can reap huge amounts of benefits of cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
when bringing them to schools.
First
, they can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantageous information to learn
effectively
in their lectures by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. Second, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educational applications which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
handily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
compelling competitions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the study mood more ebullient.
Besides
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are taught
by real images or videos through their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, they can understand
clearly
and these
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges can
last longer in their minds.
For example
, if they learn about the horrors of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
wars and
they
are shown
the documentary sources of the consequences of wars like the images of revolutionary martyr, shooting scenes
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
they can know
thoroughly
about it. These reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
vividly
that it is more beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
bring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to school.
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IELTS essay Should students be barred from taking cell phones to school?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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