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Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some useful activities in their free time?

These days the majority of young people are spending their leisure time in shopping. Growing consumerism and ease of shopping are the main reasons for this. However, in my opinion, this is a negative development that cannot be encouraged. Exposure to social media and new age advertising are the main reasons that encourage people to go on a shopping spree whenever they have time. Search engines and social websites track people’s online behavior and show them targeted advertising. As a result, people are lured into buying even those things they do not need. The influence of celebrities is another reason that encourages people to pick up this habit. Thanks to the advancement and easily accessible technology, anyone can be a celebrity online and can endorse anything. Unfortunately, shopping addiction cannot be encouraged. I firmly believe that they should pursue a fruitful activity like exercising rather than going on a shopping spree whenever they get some free time. Youngsters are full of energy and have so much potential. They should rather focus on their career or devote some time to the society or maybe even volunteer for a noble cause. By engaging in such activities they can improve their career prospects and make the world a better place to in. Shopping addiction, on the other hand, not only costs them their time but it may also leave a hole in their wallets. In conclusion, excessive exposure to advertising is the main reason that prompts young people to do too much shopping. However, this trend cannot be encouraged because it leads to wasteful expenditure.
These days the majority of young
people
are spending their leisure
time
in
shopping
. Growing consumerism and
ease
of
shopping
are the main
reasons
for this.
However
, in my opinion, this is a
negative
development that cannot
be encouraged
.

Exposure to social media and new age advertising are the main
reasons
that encourage
people
to go on a
shopping
spree whenever they have
time
. Search engines and social websites
track
people’s
online behavior and
show
them targeted advertising.
As a result
,
people
are lured
into buying even those things they do not need. The influence of celebrities is another
reason
that encourages
people
to pick up this habit. Thanks to the advancement and
easily
accessible technology, anyone can be a celebrity online and can endorse anything.

Unfortunately,
shopping
addiction cannot
be encouraged
. I
firmly
believe that they should pursue a fruitful activity like exercising
rather
than going on a
shopping
spree whenever they
get
some
free
time
. Youngsters are full of energy and have
so
much potential. They should
rather
focus on their career or devote
some
time
to the society or maybe even volunteer for a noble cause. By engaging in such activities they can
improve
their career prospects and
make
the world a better place
to
in.
Shopping
addiction,
on the other hand
, not
only
costs them their
time
but
it may
also
leave
a hole in their wallets.

In conclusion
, excessive exposure to advertising is the main
reason
that prompts young
people
to do too much
shopping
.
However
, this trend cannot
be encouraged
because
it leads to wasteful expenditure.
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IELTS essay Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some useful activities in their free time?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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