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Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. 7aW5y
It is argued that people today respect people involved in science more than they do artists. Although this conviction is true to some extent, I do believe that artists are gaining in more popularity in today’s society. To begin with, there are still some people who recognize the contributions made by brilliant minds to our lives to make them easier and better. One good example of it would be when there is a new scientific discovery or technological invention, the people responsible for them are given credits in the news, and even at times awarded with honorary medals. Another indication of how highly regarded scientists are is how much more compensation they receive than artists. It may not be common knowledge that a technical expert earns over $100, 000 per annum on average which adds up to a significantly high number over time. This is decidedly better given the fact that artists tend to make varying amounts of money depending on how often they make art. Therefore, one can still assume that people in science fields receive the respect they deserve. Despite this, I am of the opinion that artists nowadays appear to be gaining more attention from the public than technical experts. This is because people involved in arts, such as singers, actors, choreographers, and composers, seem to have more influence over people than scientists. It is often the case that when an announcement is made by an artist, common people take it more seriously than they would if it was done by an expert. The recent pandemic has shown us that people were more convinced of the severity of the situation when artist celebrities urged them to wear a mask and comply with health guidelines. Moreover, the growing popularity of social media platforms has led people to learn and know more about artists, making them more respected and understood than scientists. In conclusion, in spite of the arguments presented in favor of how much scientists are appreciated today, I choose to believe that artists are receiving more attention and respect from the public.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
involved in science more than they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
. Although this conviction is true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I do believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are gaining in more popularity in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who recognize the contributions made by brilliant minds to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them easier and better. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of it would be when there is a new scientific discovery or technological invention, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
responsible for them are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
credits in the news, and even at times awarded with honorary medals. Another indication of how
highly
regarded scientists are is how much more compensation they receive than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
. It may not be common knowledge that a technical expert earns over $100, 000 per annum on average which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
up to a
significantly
high number over time. This is
The extreme adjective for good is "wonderful", "fantastic", "superb", "perfect", or "excellent".
decidedly better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
varying amounts of money depending on how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
art.
Therefore
, one can
still
assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in science fields receive the respect they deserve.

Despite this, I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
nowadays appear to be gaining more attention from the public than technical experts. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
involved in arts, such as singers, actors, choreographers, and composers, seem to have more influence over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than scientists. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the case that when an announcement
is made
by an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
, common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take it more
seriously
than they would if it
was done
by an expert. The recent pandemic has shown us that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were more convinced of the severity of the situation when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
celebrities urged them to wear a mask and comply with health guidelines.
Moreover
, the growing popularity of social media platforms has led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn and know more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
, making them more respected and understood than scientists.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the arguments presented in favor of how
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
scientists
are appreciated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, I choose to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are receiving more attention and respect from the public.
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IELTS essay Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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