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School trips are essential

School trips are essential MyVEp
Nowadays, most schools take students out for trips which is called 'school trips'. The reason for this is because a lot of people believe that students can learn more outside than in the class. During a school trip, there are many things to learn such as environmental issues and residential problems which can educate students. In my opinion, school trips can arouse students' interest of the beauty of the nature and how to maintain it. Instead of blindly reciting history lessons, students should got to museum to broaden their knowledge of history. Lastly, the school trips aims are to make the lives of the students interesting and educational and engage in group activities to improve the group work. On the other hand, some people are against the idea of the school trips especially parents. Half of the parents think in old fashioned way like learning in class is the best learning method for students. Besides, some parents are worried that their children might encounter accidents like getting lost and injured or kidnapped during the trip. Still facts have proven that school trips are usually safe for children. But as the saying 'prevention is better than cure', safety measures are required. To conclude, it is exciting and challenging to go on school trips. Students can gain a lot from school trips. For example, they can get unforgettable experiences, meet new people, learn things that are not included in textbook lessons. To my mind, school trips will profit the students in many different ways as all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Nowadays, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
out for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
which
is called
'school trips'.
The reason for this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn more outside than in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. During a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to learn such as environmental issues and residential problems which can educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
can arouse students' interest of the beauty of the nature and how to maintain it.
Instead
of
blindly
reciting history lessons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "get"
got
to museum to broaden their knowledge of history.
Lastly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
aims are to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
interesting and educational and engage in group activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the group work.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
especially
parents. Half of the parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
way like learning in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is the best learning method for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents
are worried
that their children might encounter accidents like getting lost and injured or kidnapped during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Still
facts have proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
are
usually
safe for children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as the saying 'prevention is better than cure', safety measures
are required
.
To conclude
, it is exciting and challenging
Did you mean "going"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to go
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can gain a lot from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
.
For example
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
unforgettable experiences,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, learn things that are not included in textbook lessons. To my mind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
will profit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways as all work and no play
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
Jack a dull boy.
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IELTS essay School trips are essential

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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