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RODEO - The sport of the west

RODEO - The sport of the west n6VEn
Rodeo is to America what bull-fighting is to Spain or horse-racing is to Britain: the nation's most popular animal sport, and a very popular sport at that. Paul Denman recently spent a day at the Deschutes County Fair, in Redmond Oregon, and joined hundreds of Oregonians to watch the highlight of the fair, the annual Deschutes Rodeo. At 1 p. m. the air is still, heavy with a confusion of smells that drifts among the stalls and the barbeques, the ani­mal enclo­sures and the ice-cream ven­dors. In the hot midday sun, the fair throngs with visitors, but there's little shade to sit in, just narrow strips of shadow alongside the buildings and the tents. All around, the music is play­ing while kids run riot and and stall-holders beckon passing visitors with their col­orful displays. Then, as the time moves towards 2. 30, there is a new sense of excitement in the air: people are no longer moving round ran­domly, but heading in the same di­rection, towards the dusty arena to the south of the showground. It's almost time for the rodeo! Here at last there is shade for ev­eryone: the grandstand, with its tiered seating, rapidly fills up, as thou­sands of fair-goers pile in, eager for a good view of the excitement that is soon to begin. For some people it has al­ready be­gun. Microlight kids on mi­nuscule ponies are cavorting round the empty arena, while a handful of cowboys, astride impeccably trained horses, walk or trot sedately round the ring. Suddenly a little blonde girl, hardly four feet tall, careers into view, rid­ing bareback at the speed of light on bright white pony. No-one pays much at­tention. The folk in the stands are too busy talking about horses and rodeo-rid­ers, dis­cussing the last rodeo, predicting the win­ners of the next. Somehow, as someone who has not been brought up in the company of horses, I feel slightly out of place, as if everyone here except me knows everything about what is going on. I had been to a couple of rodeos before, including the biggest of them all, Canada's Calgary Stampede; but the other rodeos I had been to were put on for the tourists. Not this one; in central Oregon, there are few tourists. Rodeos here are for the locals, people who know them and understand them; most of the folk round me are from Redmond, or Prineville or Madras or Bend, certainly not from Europe! Then action: suddenly the gates at the end of the arena burst open, and a posse of flag-carrying girls erupts into view, circling the arena in formation on shining dark ponies. Dressed in patriotic red white and blue, courtesy of Pepsi-Cola, the girls come to a stop in the middle of the ring, as the crowd rise to their feet, the men take off their stetson hats, and everyone joins in the singing of God Bless America. The rodeo has begun! The rodeo has begun! For the next couple of hours, spectators watch with excitement as local heroes perform feats of dexterity on the backs of bucking animals! While some show their skills at calf roping — catching a running calf with a lasso and tying it up in just a few seconds — others demonstrate their daredevil skills by riding untamed broncos or bounding round on the backs of enormous raging bulls. As intrepid riders master or fall off their wild mounts, the crowd cheer wildly or aah in apprehension, then burst into laughter as the obligatory clown, the matador of the rodeo, distracts the attention of the raging animals while mounted cowboys round them up, calm them down, and coax them away into the pens from which they originally emerged, their day's work over. Katie Sharpe, 21, the local Rodeo Queen, does a lap of honour, then participates in the ladies' events; but in this macho part of the world, the ladies do not get to pit themselves against untamed bulls and broncs! That's men's stuff! Katie and the other young ladies show their skills at "barrel racing", hurling their horses at breakneck speed round a triangular shaped race-course, marked out with barrels, in the middle of the arena. It's not as dramatic as bull-riding, but it's exciting, and the crowd roar their approval. As the sun falls lower in the sky and the shadows begin to lengthen, the final rounds of calf-roping and saddle-bronc riding bring another half hour of thrills and spills before the commentator finally announces that the Rodeo is drawing to an end. The last prizes are handed out, the last riders leave the arena, and the show is over. As the spectators pick up their belongings and move slowly towards the exits, the kids on their ponies come back again for another few minutes as imaginary champions, tomorrow's local heroes in the arena of the stars. Here, it seems, if rodeo does not flow in the blood, at least it's all in the family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rodeo
is to America what bull-fighting is to Spain or horse-racing is to Britain: the nation's most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
sport, and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular sport at that. Paul
Possible spelling mistake found.
Denman
recently spent a day at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Deschutes
County
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Fair
, in Redmond Oregon, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
hundreds of Oregonians to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the highlight of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
, the annual
Possible spelling mistake found.
Deschutes
Rodeo.

At 1 p. m. the air is
still
, heavy with a confusion of smells that drifts among the stalls and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
barbeques
, the ani­mal enclo­sures and the ice-cream ven­dors. In the hot midday sun, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
throngs with visitors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
shade to sit in,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
narrow strips of shadow alongside the buildings and the tents. All around, the music is
Possible spelling mistake found.
play­ing
while kids run riot
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
stall-holders beckon passing visitors with their col­orful displays.

Then, as the time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
towards 2. 30, there is a new sense of excitement in the air:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are no longer moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
round
ran­
domly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
heading in the same di­rection, towards the dusty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arena
to the south of the showground.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
almost time for the rodeo!

Here at last there is shade for ev­eryone: the grandstand, with its tiered seating,
rapidly
fills up, as thou­sands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
-goers pile in, eager for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
view of the excitement
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
it has al­ready be­gun. Microlight kids on mi­nuscule ponies are cavorting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
round
the empty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arena
, while a handful of cowboys, astride
impeccably
trained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horses
, walk or trot
sedately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
round
the ring.
Suddenly
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
blonde girl, hardly four feet tall, careers into view, rid­ing bareback at the speed of light on bright white pony. No-one pays much at­tention. The folk in the stands are too busy talking about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horses
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
rodeo-rid­ers
, dis­cussing the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rodeo
, predicting the win­ners of the
next
. Somehow, as someone who has not
been brought
up in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horses
, I feel
slightly
out of place, as if everyone here except me knows everything about what is going on.

I had been to a couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rodeos
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, including the biggest of them all, Canada's Calgary Stampede;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rodeos
I had been to
were put
on for the tourists. Not this one; in central Oregon, there are few tourists.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rodeos
here are for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who know them and understand them; most of the folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
round
me are from Redmond, or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Prineville
or Madras or Bend,
certainly
not from Europe!

Then action:
suddenly
the gates at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arena
burst open, and a posse of flag-carrying girls erupts into view, circling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arena
in formation on shining dark ponies. Dressed in patriotic red white and blue, courtesy of Pepsi-Cola, the girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
in the middle of the ring, as the crowd rise to their feet, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
take off their stetson hats, and everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joins
in the singing of God Bless America. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rodeo
has begun!

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rodeo
has begun! For the
next
couple of hours, spectators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
with excitement as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
heroes perform feats of dexterity on the backs of bucking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
! While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at calf roping — catching a running calf with a lasso and tying it up in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few seconds — others demonstrate their daredevil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by riding untamed broncos or bounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
round
on the backs of enormous raging bulls. As intrepid riders master or fall off their wild mounts, the crowd cheer
wildly
or aah in apprehension, then burst into laughter as the obligatory clown, the matador of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rodeo
, distracts the attention of the raging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
while mounted cowboys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
round
them up, calm them down, and coax them away into the pens from which they
originally
emerged, their day's work over. Katie Sharpe, 21, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rodeo
Queen, does a lap of
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
, then participates in the ladies'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in this macho part of the world, the ladies do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to pit themselves against untamed bulls and broncs! That's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's stuff! Katie and the other young ladies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
barrel racing
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, hurling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horses
at breakneck speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
round
a triangular shaped race-course, marked out with barrels, in the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arena
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
not as dramatic as bull-riding,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
exciting, and the crowd roar their approval.

As the sun falls lower in the sky and the shadows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to lengthen, the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rounds
of calf-roping and saddle-bronc riding bring another half hour of thrills and spills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the commentator
finally
announces that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rodeo
is drawing to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. The last prizes
are handed
out, the last riders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arena
, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
is over. As the spectators pick up their belongings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
slowly
towards the exits, the kids on their ponies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back again for another few minutes as imaginary champions, tomorrow's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
heroes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arena
of the stars. Here, it seems, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rodeo
does not flow in the blood, at least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
all in the family.
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IELTS essay RODEO - The sport of the west

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
829 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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