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Nowadays, stress-related illnesses are becoming increasing common.What do you think are the causes of this?What solution can you suggest

Nowadays, stress-related illnesses are becoming increasing common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest oRVx3
Nowadays a stress - related illnesses are becoming increasingly common in the modern world, this essay will discuss the main causes and also suggest a solution to these problems. The main problem caused by stress are situated. Recently stress has risen among teenagers, it is about study and future. Many parents want the children to get a successful in the future. Consequently, the parent demands the children to study for hours without stopping under increasing pressure. What’s more the parents do not allow their children to play or explore outside home due to the parents are afraid if their children forget to study and the future will be bleak. As parents, they should not pressure their children to study for hours. As the result they forget to explore other things, because study and playing are a unity that must be balanced, children are not only sitting at home reading books, but they also have to explore the outside world to get more experience however experiences also an important part of the future. On the other hand, as children, we also need to be able to communicate with parents, they can explain that playing is not only about promiscuity but also adds insight or experience which can be used as a lesson In conclusion, the cause of stress depends on how our situation is and how we organize our lives. If we can control life well, the results will be fine too.
Nowadays a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
related illnesses are becoming
increasingly
common in the modern world, this essay will discuss the main causes and
also
suggest a solution to these problems.

The main problem caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
are situated
. Recently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
has risen among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, it is about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a successful in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
demands the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for hours without stopping under increasing pressure. What’s more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to play or explore outside home due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are afraid if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
forget to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will be bleak.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they should not pressure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for hours. As the result they forget to explore other things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and playing are a unity that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be balanced
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sitting at home reading books,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
explore the outside world to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more experience
however
experiences
also
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
On the other hand
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, we
also
need to be able to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that playing is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about promiscuity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
insight or experience which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
lesson


In conclusion
, the cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
depends on how our situation is and how we organize our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. If we can control life well, the results will be fine too.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, stress-related illnesses are becoming increasing common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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