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rise in the number of crimes

rise in the number of crimes 9LkVw
In recent years, there has been a rise in the number of crimes being committed. Some people argue that there ought to be fixed punishments for certain crimes. Other people believe crimes classify categorically. A robber or a murderer cannot be punished with same penalty. For instance, in ancient times, if people who steal an apple or a car, their hands was cutted. In my opinion, it is not fair. There must be different punishments for these two people. To give an other example, there must be different punishment between someone who is forced to kill for self defence and a killer. In a traffic accident, there would be death. It is vital to take into account the reasons. A mentally ill person who commits a murder would be judged accordingly, instead of in the same category of all the other type of murderers. On the other hand, some people believe that if there is not be certain punishments for each type of crime, governments should prepare a different law for each type of crime. A fixed punishment for each type of crime is necessary due to several reasons. Fixed punishment is needed to standardise for different crimes. The government also should pay attention to the reason why people have committed criminalities. For example, there are some cases which show the most reason for committing a crime are economic problems. In conclusion, in my point of view every penalty should make their decisions on punishments by considering environment and phsycological condition. It is important why crime committed. All circumstance should consider and people should punish fairly.
In recent years, there has been a rise in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
being committed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that there ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
classify
categorically
.

A robber or a murderer cannot
be punished
with same penalty.
For instance
, in ancient times, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who steal an apple or a car, their hands was
Possible spelling mistake found.
cutted
. In my opinion, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
. There
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To give an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
example, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
between someone who
is forced
to kill for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self defence
and a killer. In a traffic accident, there would be death. It is vital to take into account the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. A mentally ill person who commits a murder would
be judged
accordingly
,
instead
of in the same category of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of murderers.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that if there is not be certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should prepare a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
law for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is necessary due to several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is needed
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'standardise' is British English.
standardise
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
should pay attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have committed
Possible spelling mistake found.
criminalities
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are economic problems.

In conclusion
, in my point of view every penalty should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their decisions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
by considering environment and
Possible spelling mistake found.
phsycological
condition. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
committed. All circumstance should consider and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should punish
fairly
.
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IELTS essay rise in the number of crimes

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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