Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Rich countries are getting richer while poor countries are getting poorer. What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem?

It is not an uncommon phenomenon that richer countries prosper and underdeveloped countries stagnate. There are so many reasons why and as many as possible solutions. However, in this essay I will demonstrate the rate of corruption in governmental institutions as a main trigger of this and suppose law and open-policy to deal with it. I am a firm believer that the lower corruption rate in governmental bodies, the richer the country become. There are a lot of forms of corruption, from nepotism to paying a huge sums of money to hide illegal actions. Despite how we call them, they are considered to be a root of poverty. Take nepotism as an example, if officials recruit their inexperienced close friends or family members to high positions, educated, flexible labour force suffers. In turn, in these deserving workers desirelessness might arise to develop themselves. It is undeniable that without trained labour force, no one can build stable, developed country. Thus, there is low corruption in richer countries and on the contrary poor countries are undergoing hardship because of its high level We can not overlook the fact that we are not able to eradicate corruption completely. However, there are some strategies to lessen it. For example, open-policy and working law can be a remedy for this issue. Firstly, by declaring officials' salary and disclose it to mass, we can, somehow, put them alert. If some of them commit a financial crime, military force and people can punish them. Secondly, goverments should hire people as long as they really deserve this work place according to real life skills. This eventually will bring about competitiveness in work place and high-quality of products in every aspect of industry. In conclusion, we can find many possibilities of why some rich nations are improving day by day but poorer ones are failing doing so. I strongly believe corruption is able to shrink every countries development from its bottom. Although it can be seen almost impossible to solve this issue, we can implement a number of steps to reduce it, including ensuring implemnetence of laws in real life and open-policy.
It is not an uncommon phenomenon that richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
prosper and underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
stagnate. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why and as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as possible solutions.
However
, in this essay I will demonstrate the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corruption
in governmental institutions as a main trigger of this and suppose law and open-policy to deal with it.

I am a firm believer that the lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corruption
rate in governmental bodies, the richer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
become. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corruption
, from nepotism to paying
The plural noun “sums” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a huge sum” or “huge sums”?
a huge sums
of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
illegal actions. Despite how we call them, they
are considered
to be a root of poverty. Take nepotism as an example, if officials recruit their inexperienced close friends or family members to high positions, educated, flexible
Possible spelling mistake. ‘labour’ is British English.
labour
force suffers. In turn, in these deserving workers
Possible spelling mistake found.
desirelessness
might arise to develop themselves. It is undeniable that without trained
Possible spelling mistake. ‘labour’ is British English.
labour
force, no one can build stable, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Thus
, there is low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corruption
in richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
on the contrary
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are undergoing hardship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its high level

We can not overlook the fact that we are not able to eradicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corruption
completely.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strategies to lessen it.
For example
, open-policy and working law can be a remedy for this issue.
Firstly
, by declaring officials' salary and disclose it to mass, we can, somehow, put them alert. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them commit a financial crime, military force and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can punish them.
Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverments
should hire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as long as they
really
deserve this work place according to real life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This
eventually
will bring about competitiveness in work place and high-quality of products in every aspect of industry.

In conclusion
, we can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possibilities of why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rich nations are improving day by
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
poorer ones are failing doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. I
strongly
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corruption
is able to shrink every
An apostrophe may be missing.
countries
development from its bottom. Although it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
almost impossible to solve this issue, we can implement a number of steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it, including ensuring
Possible spelling mistake found.
implemnetence
of laws in real life and open-policy.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Rich countries are getting richer while poor countries are getting poorer. What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts