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Recent statistics show that the crimes by the young people in the major cities of the world are on the increase. Give your analysis of the reasons and the solutions.

Recent statistics show that the crimes by the young people in the major cities of the world are on the increase. Give your analysis of the reasons and the solutions. GM91e
These days many juveniles are getting more and more versed in crime events, which subsequently might lead to substantial sequels to both parents and government. This essay will give overall analysis of the incident by appealing to diverse examples as well as solutions. To begin with, there are many reasons why youngsters have exposure to such deeds. Nurturing a child improperly might be the initial and dominant reason for such a thing to occur. Many teenagers seek praise from their peers by doing crimes and infringing laws, which can happen due to the insufficient amount of attention parents provide their child with. Nevertheless, parents can implement solutions by taking a youngster to a psychologist or just having amiable chat with one another can completely alter their relationship Another issue is that teenagers are not under control of their parents, which can result in nonconscious acts of crime. For example, disputes between their acquaintances and family members can cause their anger expressed in crime events, which parents can solve by disciplining and rewarding an adolescent for adequate behaviour. To summarize, nowadays it turns out that teenagers are getting engaged in crime events increasingly, which means that parents’ upbringing is the reigning aspect of our life, since it is strongly contingent on it.
These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
juveniles are getting more and more versed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, which
subsequently
might lead to substantial sequels to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. This essay will give
overall
analysis of the incident by appealing to diverse examples
as well
as solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why youngsters have exposure to such deeds. Nurturing a child
improperly
might be the initial and dominant reason for such a thing to occur.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
seek praise from their peers by doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and infringing laws, which can happen due to the insufficient amount of attention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
provide their child with.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can implement solutions by taking a youngster to a psychologist or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
having amiable chat with one another can completely alter their relationship

Another issue is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are not under control of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, which can result in
Possible spelling mistake found.
nonconscious
acts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For example
, disputes between their acquaintances and family members can cause their anger expressed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can solve by disciplining and rewarding an adolescent for adequate
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

To summarize
, nowadays it turns out that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are getting engaged in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
increasingly
, which means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
upbringing is the reigning aspect of our life, since it is
strongly
contingent on it.
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IELTS essay Recent statistics show that the crimes by the young people in the major cities of the world are on the increase. Give your analysis of the reasons and the solutions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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