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REASONS FOR TRAFFIC ACCIDENTS

REASONS FOR TRAFFIC ACCIDENTS nVb7l
Unfortunately, millions of traffic accidents happen in a year; moreover, thousands of people die in a year due to traffic accidents. Furthermore, the number of people who die because of traffic accidents keeps increasing. Traffic accidents stem from drunk driving, inattention or distraction during driving, and weather conditions. First of all, one reason for traffic accidents is drunk driving. Drunk driving is one of the biggest reasons for traffic accidents for two essential reasons. Firstly, according to research, being drunk decreases the reflex level, and having a high reflex level is one of the most crucial features of a driver. Secondly, it increases the possibility of falling asleep while driving. Another reason for traffic accidents is inattention or distraction during driving. People must be very careful while driving a car; however, many people use their mobile phones while driving a car and this situation increases the risk of traffic accidents. Also, the chat between passengers and the driver is another contributory factor to traffic accidents because it can distract the driver’s attention. Another contributory factor to traffic accidents is weather conditions. According to studies, the risk of traffic accidents that happen on a snowy or a rainy day is much higher than the risk of traffic accidents that happen on a sunny day. Unfortunately, people do not use appropriate tires on snowy and rainy days; as a result of this situation, many traffic accidents happen on snowy and rainy days. To sum up, drunk driving, inattention or distraction during driving, and weather conditions are the three main reasons for traffic accidents. In addition, I hope that necessary steps will be taken, and the number of traffic accidents that happen in a year will decrease in the future.
Unfortunately, millions of
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traffic
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accidents
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happen
in a year;
moreover
, thousands of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
in a year due to
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traffic
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accidents
.
Furthermore
, the number of
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people
who
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die
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
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traffic
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accidents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
increasing.
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Traffic
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accidents
stem from
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drunk
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driving
, inattention or distraction during
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driving
, and weather conditions.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one
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reason
for
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traffic
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accidents
is
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drunk
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driving
.
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Drunk
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driving
is one of the biggest
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reasons
for
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traffic
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accidents
for two essential
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reasons
.
Firstly
, according to research, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drunk
decreases the reflex level, and having a high reflex level is one of the most crucial features of a driver.
Secondly
, it increases the possibility of falling asleep while driving.

Another
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reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
is inattention or distraction during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
.
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People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
careful while
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driving
a car;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their mobile phones while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
a car and this situation increases the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
Also
, the chat between passengers and the driver is another contributory factor to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can distract the driver’s attention.

Another contributory factor to
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traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
is weather conditions. According to studies, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
on a snowy or a rainy day is much higher than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
on a sunny day. Unfortunately,
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people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
appropriate tires on snowy and rainy days;
as a result
of this situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
on snowy and rainy days.

To sum up,
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drunk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, inattention or distraction during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, and weather conditions are the three main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
In addition
, I hope that necessary steps will
be taken
, and the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
in a year will decrease in the future.
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IELTS essay REASONS FOR TRAFFIC ACCIDENTS

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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