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Do you agree or disagree Movies and television has negative affect more than positive affect on young people

Movies and television has negative affect more than positive affect on young people 2bPrk
There is a huge impact on people's behaviors when it comes to the newest developments all around the world. While some have disadvantages and others have benefits. Similar to those innovations, movies and television have more cons than pros and it also affects greatly on how young people behave. Since movies and television are connected to people's lives these days, it is difficult to have more focus on other things. I strongly agree with the statement that these innovations have more negative consequences than positive on the behavior of young people. To begin with, movies and television have had a bad impact on youngsters because they manifest actions in movies and also use abusive and inaccurate language, which can be detrimental to young people's minds. A typical example from school would be my son, Josh, who loved watching action movies. But as a parent, I never realized where this would take him until I got complaints about him from his school teacher. His teacher once called me to set up a meeting. She mentioned that Josh was not paying attention in his class and often tend to misbehave and abuse his classmates. Consequently, I started to watch him for 10 days and became aware that his bad behaviors of his were coming from the kind of action movies he was watching. Hence, I became strict with him and did not allow him to watch any type of movie. As a result, he started to become calm and able to keep control of himself. Furthermore, television is a huge distraction for minors, owing to the fact that they concentrate more on their favorite TV shows rather than focusing on their studies. For instance, a couple of years ago, my little brother got admission into a medical school. He was studious and had never watched any shows. One of his friends told him about popular TV shows and he thought to give it a try. In less than a week, he got addicted to it and never missed any show. And because of that, he started to watch more shows. Therefore, he lost focus from his study and it greatly negatively impact his grades. Thereby, watching TV can be a great interference in one's life and it can halt someone's progress. In conclusion, movies and television can have more cons than pros on youngsters because they learn bad languages and adopt bad behaviors, also because young people can easily get distracted from television, which can affect their lives.
There is a huge impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the newest developments all around the world. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
have benefits. Similar to those innovations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
have more cons than pros and it
also
affects
greatly
on how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
behave. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
are connected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
these days, it is difficult to have more focus on other things. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that these innovations have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "than". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
have had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
impact on youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they manifest actions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
abusive and inaccurate language, which can be detrimental to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's minds. A typical example from school would be my son, Josh, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
watching action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as a parent, I never realized where this would take him until I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
complaints about him from his school teacher. His teacher once called me to set up a meeting. She mentioned that Josh was not paying attention in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to misbehave and abuse his classmates.
Consequently
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
him for 10 days and became aware that his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
of his were coming from the kind of action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
he was watching.
Hence
, I became strict with him and did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
any type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
.
As a result
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to become calm and able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
control of himself.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is a huge distraction for minors, owing to the fact that they concentrate more on their favorite TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
rather
than focusing on their studies.
For instance
, a couple of years ago, my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
admission into a medical school. He was studious and had never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
. One of his friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him about popular TV
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
shows and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to give it a try. In less than a week, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
addicted to it and never missed any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
.
Therefore
, he lost focus from his study and it
greatly
negatively
impact his grades. Thereby, watching TV can be a great interference in one's life and it can halt someone's progress.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can have more cons than pros on youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
languages and adopt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
,
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, which can affect their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Movies and television has negative affect more than positive affect on young people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
416 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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