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Prison is the best punishment for criminals

In this era of globalization, crime rate has progressed very rapidly over the years. Many people believe that the most effective way to punish offenders is putting them in jails. I partly agree with the following statement, I would like to explicate it at length in the paragraph to come. On the one hand, jails have a good opportunity for criminals. With the advent of the 21 century, prisons have leaped to a level that was imaginable only even 50 years ago. For instance, people who commit a crime, they might watch TV, read some books and a gym. Furthermore, some overseas countries, all criminals could use laptops in their rooms, obtain a lot knowledge as well as refine a new skill. That is to say, in this case, I would agree that imprisonment is appropriate. On the other hand, one argument is that government should make some decisions and reformation programs about prisons, punishment and criminals. For example, although, there are many kind of criminals in the jails, they have a types of crime especially killed a someone, robbers, depravities, shoplifters and so on. In addition, prisons have a lot of costs such as foods, clothes and other necessary things. Hence, politics should some taxes for prisoners. This is the best way to enhancing quality of jails. It is useful for government's budget. After over all the analysis, it can be concluded that crime is dangerous for all over the world. From my point of view, improsonment is appropriate.
In this era of globalization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate has progressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapidly
over the years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the most effective way to punish offenders is putting them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the following statement, I would like to explicate it at length in the paragraph to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. With the advent of the
Did you mean “21st century”?
21 century
, prisons have leaped to a level that was imaginable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
even 50 years ago.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV, read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
books and a gym.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
overseas countries, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
laptops in their rooms, obtain
If you mean a great quantity, use “a lot of knowledge”.
a lot knowledge
as well
as refine a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
That is
to say,
in this case
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that imprisonment is appropriate.

On the other hand
, one argument is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
decisions and reformation programs about prisons, punishment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
For example
, although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “kinds”?
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
, they have
The plural noun “types” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a type” or “types”?
a types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
especially
killed
Possible typo. Did you mean “a” or “someone”?
a someone
, robbers, depravities, shoplifters and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
In addition
, prisons have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
costs such as foods, clothes and other necessary things.
Hence
, politics should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
taxes for prisoners. This is the best way to enhancing quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
. It is useful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's budget.

After over all the analysis, it can
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for all over the world. From my point of view,
Possible spelling mistake found.
improsonment
is appropriate.
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One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Prison is the best punishment for criminals

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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