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Prison is common way in most countries to solve problems of crime however the more efficiency solution is to provide people a better education. agree or disagree

Thesedays, many Nation Locke of criminals to end disputes of illegal actions whereas to solve this issue education system should serve required knowledge to every individuals. I agree with the statement that providing education can change the behaviour of per son rate of criminal activity will decrease. To embak with, one of the main reason for this is lack of skills because majority of this kinds of people are uneducated and unskilled so they struggle for a finding the right employment as a result they opt for illegal way of earning for their daily needs and punished imprisonment. Another reason is that they are not monitored after the period of reason is finished so these people again make some mistake and lead to continuous cycle of this. However, providing education helps a lot. Some fruitful steps against this is that criminal should be punished with those punishments which is helpful and improve skills like crafting, fashion designing, painting cooking and so on. Thus, learning skills will engage to work and can easily able to find job for their survival. Moreover, an individual is educated he or she will not depend on a wrong mean of livelihood thereby education can bring change in society. To sum up, the national authorities should come with action that will be beneficial for criminal to get skilled and there will be reduced reduction in crime so that we can make better living place.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thesedays
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Nation Locke of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
disputes of illegal actions whereas to solve this issue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system should serve required knowledge to every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “individual”?
individuals
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
of per son rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activity will decrease. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
embak
with, one of the main reason for this is lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘kinds’. Did you mean “these”?
this
kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are uneducated
and unskilled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they struggle for a finding the right employment
as a result
they opt for illegal way of earning for their daily needs and punished imprisonment. Another reason is that they are not monitored after the period of reason is
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
finished
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
again
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mistake and lead to continuous cycle of this.
However
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a lot.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
fruitful steps against this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
should
be punished
with those punishments which is helpful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like crafting, fashion designing, painting cooking and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Thus
, learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will engage to work and can
easily
able to find job for their survival.
Moreover
, an individual
is educated
he or she will not depend on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
mean of livelihood thereby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in society. To sum up, the national authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with action that will be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
skilled and there will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
reduction in crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better living place.

IELTS essay Prison is common way in most countries to solve problems of crime however the more efficiency solution is to provide people a better education. agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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