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People who educated in science and technology, likely to be more appreciated by contemporary society than a performer and entertainer.

People who educated in science and technology, likely to be more appreciated by contemporary society than a performer and entertainer. wBXKY
People who educated in science and technology, likely to be more appreciated by contemporary society than a performer and entertainer. I agree that scientific and technological works (jobs) more efficient nowadays. Yet, economic and society careers gaining popularity as well. In the 21st century, we can see lots of technological developments and scientific discoveries. That discovery and developments lead us to a better future and opportunity. Moreover, It can help us to learn more about everything that exists in this universe. For instance, researching planets and finding out new earthworks all need high technology. Furthermore, on our daily basis, we all use social networks or electronic devices that are all made of high-tech. That means we are all surrounded by a public network thus it's a big part of our lives. So that technology and scientific professionals more common and high paying nowadays. On the other hand, economic and society careers are also becoming more general. The reason it's gaining more popularity is the same as the technology due to the daily needs of humans. Humans are social creatures so that we need to always converse with others and at the peak, it becomes an essential career. For economic, it's the same as a society, science they all based on people's lives. The difference between the artist and scientific is scientists, economists they all more essential to people's lives, and it is also all based on their daily basis. To sum up, as a consequence of the world's rapid development professional careers need to be able to give humans more evolving knowledge. Thus, technological and scientific careers are more crucial in this generation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who educated in science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, likely to be more appreciated by contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
than a performer and entertainer. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
and technological works (jobs) more efficient nowadays.
Yet
, economic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
gaining popularity
as well
. In the 21st century, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
lots of technological developments and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
discoveries. That discovery and developments lead us to a better future and opportunity.
Moreover
, It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to learn more about everything that exists in this universe.
For instance
, researching planets and finding out new earthworks all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Furthermore
, on our daily basis, we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social networks or electronic devices that are all made of high-tech. That means we are all surrounded by a public network
thus
it's a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
professionals more common and high paying nowadays.
On the other hand
, economic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
are
also
becoming more general. The reason it's gaining more popularity is the same as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
due to the daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of humans. Humans are social creatures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to always converse with others and at the peak, it becomes an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. For economic, it's the same as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, science they all based on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The difference between the artist and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
is scientists, economists they all more essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and it is
also
all based on their daily basis. To sum up, as a consequence of the world's rapid development professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be able to give humans more evolving knowledge.
Thus
, technological and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
are more crucial in this generation.
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IELTS essay People who educated in science and technology, likely to be more appreciated by contemporary society than a performer and entertainer.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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