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People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. with this opinion? lAE1
Some people believe that everybody have to pay same ammount of money for medical insurance. Independent of unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets. But I agree with others who suppose health care insurance should be less for thouse, who do care about their health and therefore ill less. Firstly, it is obvious, thouse who care about what they eat and do some exercises are ill less. Therefore government can saves money for medical service, and uses this money for other projects, like education. A have supported healthy lifestyle for the last 20 years. But I used to be smoke and drink alcohole before. Especial in time, when I was student. One day, I got problems with my health. Doctor gave me advice to stop smoke and drink. Secondly, if we take a look on car insurance industry, we will find there are different payments for accurate drivers and drivers who drive in the agressive maner and therefore do some traffic incendents. Why we can't do the same with medical insurance? On the other hand, I understand there is difficult to recognize, who is care of the health and who is not. Perhapse, we have take in account who often request for medical support and who less. In conclusion I would like to repeat, I am support idea about differensation payments for medical insurance. If I had knew about how tabak and alcohol can influente on my own health, I would not have smoked and drunk. I have family and two kids. A would like to protect tham. So I told them about my own experience. I hope, when will they became adalt, they will preserve they health and will do eat only healthy food.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that everybody
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay same
Possible spelling mistake found.
ammount
of money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
. Independent of unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
suppose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
should be less
Possible spelling mistake found.
for thouse
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
therefore
ill less.

Firstly
, it is obvious,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
about what they eat and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exercises are ill less.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "save"
saves
money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
service, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
this money for other projects, like education.
Did you mean "I"?
A
have supported healthy lifestyle for the last 20 years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be smoke and drink
Possible spelling mistake found.
alcohole
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Especial in time, when I was student. One day, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
problems with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Doctor gave me advice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
smoke and drink.

Secondly
, if we take a look on car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
industry, we will find there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
payments for accurate drivers and drivers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
drive in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
agressive
Possible spelling mistake found.
maner
and
therefore
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traffic
Possible spelling mistake found.
incendents
. Why we can't do the same with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
insurance?

On the other hand
, I understand there is difficult to recognize,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is not.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Perhapse
, we have
Use past participle here: "taken".
take
in account
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
request for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
support and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
less.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
would like to repeat, I am support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about
Possible spelling mistake found.
differensation
payments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
. If I had
Use past participle here: "known".
knew
about how
Possible spelling mistake found.
tabak
and alcohol can
Possible spelling mistake found.
influente
on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, I would not have smoked and drunk. I have family and two kids.
Did you mean "I"?
A
would like to protect
Possible spelling mistake found.
tham
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
them about my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience. I hope, when will they became
Possible spelling mistake found.
adalt
, they will preserve they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and will do eat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
healthy food.
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IELTS essay People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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