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People nowadays spend their free time less actively than in the past

People nowadays spend their free time less actively than in the past YD7N
Nowadays young people often spend their free time at home watching TV or playing computer games. Very few do sports outside of school. This means that if they don't do exercise during school time, they will be unfit and suffer from health problems. I agree that children should do sports lessons at school. In this essay I will explain why. Some people say that sports lessons are a waste of time. Students have to prepare for exams and should spend all their time on academic work. This is what many people think in my country. In my opinion they are wrong. A healthy mind needs a healthy body. Doing exercise every day makes you happy and relaxed. Studying all the time can make you stressed. Another reason for my opinion is that having an unfit generation will cause many problems for society. When today's children get older, unfortunately they may suffer from illnesses like heart disease. The government will have to spend a lot of money on doctors and hospitals. It is much better to create a fit and healthy adult population by getting children to do sports when they are still at school. In addition, sports teach people discipline and working as a team. This will help them in their future life. In conclusion, I can say that prevention is better than cure. Children who do sports will be healthier, happier adults. They are more likely to continue with their active lifestyle when they grow up. In this way we can make a better society for the future.
Nowadays young
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people
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often
spend their free
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time
at home watching TV or playing computer games.
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Very
few do
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sports
outside of
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school
. This means that if they don't do exercise during
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school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they will be unfit and suffer from health problems. I
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agree
that
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children
should do
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sports
lessons at
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school
. In this essay I will
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explain
why.

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Some
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people
say that
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sports
lessons are a waste of
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time
. Students
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have to
prepare for exams and should spend all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on academic work. This is what
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in my country. In my opinion they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. A healthy mind needs a healthy body. Doing exercise every day
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makes
you happy and relaxed. Studying all the
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time
can
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make
you
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stressed
.

Another reason for my opinion is that having an unfit generation will cause
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many
problems for society. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
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children
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get
older, unfortunately they may suffer from illnesses like heart disease. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on doctors and hospitals. It is much better to create a fit and healthy adult population by getting
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children
to do
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sports
when they are
still
at
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school
.
In addition
,
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sports
teach
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people
discipline and working as a team. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their future life.

In conclusion
, I can say that prevention is better than cure.
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Children
who do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will be healthier, happier adults. They are more likely to continue with their active lifestyle when they grow up. In this way we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better society for the future.
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IELTS essay People nowadays spend their free time less actively than in the past

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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