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People nowadays spend their free time less actively than in the past

People nowadays spend their free time less actively than in the past 3kNn
These days, our lives become hard to live than previously, everything changed even spending time at home is less than before. That's why there are reasons causing people to stay and spend less time at home, and this will have bad effects on individuals and society. On one hand, several reasons let people to spend less and less time at home, which will cause them difficulties in living. One main reason is work, where the majority of people spend most of their time working to have more income. Second, traffic also causes them to stay away from home, if their job requires from them to move to a far place. However, family duties impose people to provide them with their needs and stay out from home, to pay bills, follow up on their children at school and to secure a healthy and great life for them. For example, I still remember when my father used to drive all day and night on his truck, where we usually see him only twice a week, to provide his family needs. On the other hand, these reasons will effect in many ways on individuals life and on society. First, people will face lack of social life and communication, this will effect on persons character negatively, and keep them far from people and get used to live alone. Second, it will effect on individuals, where they'll feel that no one taking care or hanging out with them, and this will increase their thought to stay out from home and spend their time at work or somewhere else alone. Therefore, staying away and spend less time at home, will change people's lives negatively and may impact on many families. For example, on of our neighbors till today, he visits his parents and family once each month, due to his job duties, where it oblige him to spend more time at work, to provide his family with their needs. Finally, people duties and lifestyle changed, but these changes have causes and effects on their daily life. So, each one should know how to handle such situations, to avoid any conflict and lack of communication in society and between individuals.
These days, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
Use "liver" to make a comparison with this adjective.
live
than previously, everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
even spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. That's why there are
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reasons
causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home, and this will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and society.

On one hand, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home, which will cause them difficulties in living. One main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is work, where the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
working to have more income. Second, traffic
also
causes them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
away from home, if their job requires from them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a far place.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
duties impose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to provide them with their needs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
out from home, to pay bills, follow up on their children at school and to secure a healthy and great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for them.
For example
, I
still
remember when my father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to drive all day and night on his truck, where we
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
twice a week, to provide his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
needs.

On the other hand
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and on society.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will face lack of social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and communication, this will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "persons'" or "person's"?
persons
character
negatively
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them far from
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people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone. Second, it will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, where they'll feel that no one taking care or hanging out with them, and this will increase their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
out from home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at work or somewhere else alone.
Therefore
, staying away and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
negatively
and may impact on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
For example
, on of our neighbors till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, he visits his parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
once each month, due to his job duties, where it
Did you mean "obliges"?
oblige
him to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at work, to provide his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with their needs.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
duties and lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have causes and effects on their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, each one should know how to handle such situations, to avoid any conflict and lack of communication in society and between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
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IELTS essay People nowadays spend their free time less actively than in the past

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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