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People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no doubt that development of communication technology and transportation has allowed people to have flexible choices for working and living in recent years. In my opinion, I believe that this flexibility could bring about more advantages for society compared to its drawbacks which might appear. On the one hand, there are some drawbacks for people because they have working remotely opportunity thanks to the developments on the technology. One of the most major problems is that motivation to work usually decreases when people work remotely. Companies try different methods to reach the same motivation level however, they are not able to do that. Another point to consider is that working form can affect employees’ social life. Especially in some certain jobs, people spend most of their time working and after they have completed their work, they will not want to go out because they feel exhausted. Therefore, they could have some problems in their social life. On the other hand, I think the benefits gained by working remotely are extremely useful for society. Firstly, people do not waste their time to commute. Especially this time can be significant time in mega cities. For example, in İstanbul, an average worker spends 2 hours to commute every day. However, just because of developments and flexibilities in transportation, they can work at home and spend this time on their leisure activities. Secondly, an optimum workplace could be created. People sometimes cannot change their workplace due to office rules. However, no one cannot interfere them about their workplace when they work in their own home. That is why, people could set their best working environment due to developed communication technology. To conclude, even though there are some drawbacks of working remotely, I consider that advantages outweigh the disadvantages thanks to its unique benefits such as allocating more free time and creating ideal workplace.
There is no doubt that development of communication technology and transportation has
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allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have flexible choices for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and living in recent years. In my opinion, I believe that this flexibility could bring about more advantages for society compared to its drawbacks which might appear.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remotely
opportunity thanks to the developments on the technology. One of the most major problems is that motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
usually
decreases when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remotely
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods to reach the same motivation level
however
, they are not able to do that. Another point to consider is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
form can affect employees’ social life.
Especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain jobs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and after they have completed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they will not want to go out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel exhausted.
Therefore
, they could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems in their social life.

On the other hand
, I
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think
the benefits gained by
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working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remotely
are
extremely
useful for society.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to commute.
Especially
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can be significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
This word is normally spelled as one.
mega cities
.
For example
, in
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İstanbul
, an average worker spends 2 hours to commute every day. H
owever,
j
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ust
b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ecause
of developments and
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flexibilities
in transportation, they can
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work
at home and spend this
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time
on their leisure activities. S
econdly,
an optimum
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workplace
could
be created
. P
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eople
s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ometimes
cannot c
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hange
their
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workplace
due to office r
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ules.
H
owever,
no one cannot interfere them about their
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workplace
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
wn
home. T
hat is
why, p
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eople
could set their best
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working
environment due to developed communication technology.

T
o conclude,
e
ven though
there are s
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ome
drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remotely
, I consider that advantages outweigh the disadvantages thanks to its unique benefits such as allocating more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and creating ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
.
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IELTS essay People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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