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People believe that being literate in English allows you to acquire better jobs and thus allows one to have access to a better standard of living. Up to what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

People believe that being literate in English allows you to acquire better jobs and thus allows one to have access to a better standard of living. Up with the statement? 9EGj
Some has a generalized thought that, peoples should be educated enough in English language to get better job and that helps to acquire a better standard in life. But I strongly believe that language is a medium to communicate between people and depends on requirement of individuals. Firstly, I will discuss about why the English language is required in everyone's life. Then, will discuss on how it will extend and helpful in peoples life. Firstly, the English is a common language which has been spoken by most of the people and it was accepted by many countries as official or unofficial language. Moreover, learning one foreign language will helps the people to survive in other circumstance while we are moving to outside from our motherland. For example, while we are travelling to other parts of the world or travelling to some country like India, the English language will be helpful to the traveler because in India many regional language are followed by their peoples. Instead, the English language is commonly known by half of the people in their country through it is not their official language. Therefore, if the travelers know the English language they will feel ease to communicate with the people. secondly, being a scholar in the foreign language are depend on the peoples profession as what they follow for the survival. The job will decide the requirement of other language. For instance, some of the jobs like Engineering, Tourism and Multinational corporate are required to learn English as the language is mandatory to keep up their work and communicate with foreign clients. So it is not required for all the people in the universe to learn English. On conclusion, the English is a language of medium and tool to communicate between peoples in the sphere. Based on the fluency in English language the knowledge of individuals will not be measured. So I strongly disagree the statement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
has a generalized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
should
be educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better job and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to acquire a better standard in life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is a medium to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and depends on requirement of individuals.
Firstly
, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss why"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about why
the English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is required
in everyone's life. Then, will discuss on how it will extend and helpful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
life.
Firstly
, the English is a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
which has
been spoken
by most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries as official or unofficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Moreover
, learning one foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to survive in other circumstance while we are moving to outside from our motherland.
For example
, while we are travelling to other parts of the world or travelling to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "countries"?
country
like India, the English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will be helpful to the traveler
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are followed
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
.
Instead
, the English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is
commonly
known by half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their country through it is not their official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Therefore
, if the travelers know the English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
they will feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, being a scholar in the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "peoples'" or "people's"?
peoples
profession as what they follow for the survival. The job will decide the requirement of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
For instance
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
jobs like Engineering, Tourism and Multinational corporate
are required
to learn English as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is mandatory to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up their work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with foreign clients.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is not required for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the universe to learn English. On conclusion, the English is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
of medium and tool to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
in the sphere. Based on the fluency in English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
the knowledge of individuals will not
be measured
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
strongly
disagree the statement.
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IELTS essay People believe that being literate in English allows you to acquire better jobs and thus allows one to have access to a better standard of living. Up with the statement?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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