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People are obsesses with their weight and constant dieting. suggest any solutions

The main cause is society’s double standard about beauty. In other words, putting into the social perspective, people especially females ought to be tall and thin. Due to the fact that the height can hardly be changed, people pay more attention to their weight while having pressure with dieting constantly. If they gain weight continuously or hardly care about the standard, they might possibly become a joke, which can lead to more serious issues. For example, chubby folks are often made fun of because of their look and eventually end up suicide. Therefore, due to the obsession to weight, almost everyone believe that constant dieting could help them to lose weight faster to fit the requirements. As a results, some positive solutions can be use to tackle the situation. Firstly, a healthy and balance menu can be put into practice in order to maintain a fixed weight. For instance, many PTs advice to calculate the calories in plans for eating everyday consequently people will eat less without being tired. Secondly, folks can exercise more to have a good light body proportion. Finally, building up self-worth is the most essential as people should ignore the harmful comments and accept their true self. It is good to love yourself and carefree about all those nonsense rules about weight. In conclusion, whilst the detrimental impact of obsession to weight cannot be overlooked, people can tackle the issue by having a healthy diet, exercising as well as loving yourself
The main cause is society’s double standard about beauty.
In other words
, putting into the social perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
females ought to be tall and thin. Due to the fact that the height can hardly be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay more attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
while having pressure with dieting
constantly
. If they gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
continuously
or hardly care about the standard, they might
possibly
become a joke, which can lead to more serious issues.
For example
, chubby folks are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
made fun of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their look and
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up suicide.
Therefore
, due to the obsession to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
, almost everyone
The pronoun ‘everyone’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “believes”, “believed”.
believe
that constant dieting could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to lose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
faster to fit the requirements.

As
The plural noun “results” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a result” or “results”?
a results
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
solutions can be
Make sure that ‘use to’ is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean ‘accustomed to’, use “used to”.
use to
tackle the situation.
Firstly
, a healthy and balance menu can
be put
into practice in order to maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
PTs advice to calculate the calories in plans for eating
‘Everyday’ is an adjective. Did you mean “every day”?
everyday
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will eat less without
being tired
.
Secondly
, folks can exercise more to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
light body proportion.
Finally
, building up self-worth is the most essential as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the harmful comments and accept their true self. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
yourself and carefree about all those nonsense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
about weight.

In conclusion
, whilst the detrimental impact of obsession to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
cannot
be overlooked
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can tackle the issue by having a healthy diet, exercising
as well
as loving yourself

IELTS essay People are obsesses with their weight and constant dieting. suggest any solutions

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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