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People are consuming more and moresugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption

People are consuming more and moresugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption BRRj
Nowadays, individuals purchase a lot of carbonated and sugary drinks compared to previous time that people tend to these drinks now. Although, the availability of several reasons which provoked this problem is irrefutable a couple of effective solutions tackle the issue. On the one hand, people addicted to sugary drinks such as coca cola, fanta, pepsi and others. We are witnessing today could be coused by a number of reasons. Intially, sugar-based drinks are greatly popular among individuals which advertising help to this situation. When people turn on the TV, they see varous kind of drinks that these are very atractive from young children to adults. Mostly advertising use famous people in the process of videotaping the drinks. If I take an example my life, I am fond of Neymar who master of fooyball. He participated in pepsi drink advertising. Then, I have bought a lot of pepsi since I saw it. These conditions led to popularize sugar-based drinks throughout the world. Another main cause which leads to this problem is cheap of sugar-based drinks. Everyone acquire these drinks which is both indigent and rich people. Without any doubt, above mentioned causes are not the sole ones. But in terms of significance they overshadow other factors. On the other hand, what is needed to improve the situation is the definite action could be done by advertising. To explain, advertisers ignore sugar-based drinks. And they do not contribute to advertising of drinks. Another obvious solution is expensive of sugar-based drinks. If drinks are made costly, buying of sugar-based drinks may decline. Of course, there can be other solutions as well, but for me there are not as effective as the mentioned ones. To sam up, I believe that the effects of problem are too serious to ignore. Some measures have to be taken soon, otherwise our life might be at great risk
Nowadays, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
carbonated and sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
compared to previous time that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, the availability of several reasons which provoked this problem is irrefutable a couple of effective solutions tackle the issue. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addicted to sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
such as coca cola,
Possible spelling mistake found.
fanta
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pepsi
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. We are witnessing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
could be
Possible spelling mistake found.
coused
by a number of reasons.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Intially
, sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
are
greatly
popular among individuals which advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to this situation. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
turn on the TV, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Possible spelling mistake found.
varous
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
that these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
atractive
from young children to adults.
Mostly
advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the process of videotaping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
. If I take an example my life, I am fond of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Neymar
who master of
Possible spelling mistake found.
fooyball
. He participated in
Possible spelling mistake found.
pepsi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
advertising. Then, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
Possible agreement error. The noun pepsi seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of (pepsi)".
a lot of pepsi
since I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
it. These conditions led to popularize sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
throughout the world. Another main cause which leads to this problem is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
of sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
. Everyone
The pronoun 'Everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "acquires", "acquired".
acquire
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
which is both indigent and rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Without any doubt, above mentioned causes are not the sole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in terms of significance they overshadow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, what
is needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
action could
be done
by advertising. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, advertisers
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ignore
sugar-based
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drinks
. And they do not contribute to advertising of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
. Another obvious solution is expensive of sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
are made
costly, buying of sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
may decline.
Of course
, there can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
solutions
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for me there are not as effective as the mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
sam
up, I believe that the effects of problem are too serious to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
measures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
,
otherwise
our life might be at great
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
risk
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IELTS essay People are consuming more and moresugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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