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people absored wit temsels

people absored wit temsels 2xaBj
In modern times people became more absorbed with themselves as they have to concentrate on their personal journey through life rather than spend time worrying about their communities. This trend created problems such as increased depression rates and ecology disasters. This essay will outline these problems and present some solutions. One of the biggest reasons why people tend to focus on themselves is the increased use of technology. Everybody is busy with their devices, using social media platforms, and creating their own little world. In this world, everybody can control who they will follow, what will they upload, and what content they will see. Essentially this would not be such a big problem, but when people concentrate on social media they tend to forget the outside world witch later on causes problems such as anxiety or even depression. A recent study made by Harvard has shown that increased use of social medial leads to isolation and mental disorders. Furthermore, when people focus more on their individual self they tend to become blind to their surroundings which create issues such as littering because they do not think about the consequences of their actions. This way if everybody will throw one rubbish on the ground a day, future generations will not be able to see nature as beautiful as we can see it. Some steps that could be taken to demolish the problems mentioned before could be to illuminate technology use altogether and replace it with events and festivals. This way people can interact with each other and create a sense of bond that social media could not make. Another considerable solution is that the law enforcement agencies should make stricter laws on harmful habits that humans perform. As a result, people will be held accountable for their actions. In conclusion, although people are social creatures modern-day habits such as increased use in technology or ecology disasters, create serious issues to our society. But we have to stay positive and take action on our weaknesses in order to create better society for us and future generations.
In modern times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
became more absorbed with themselves as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
concentrate on their personal journey through life
rather
than spend time worrying about their communities. This trend created
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
depression rates and ecology disasters. This essay will outline these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

One of the biggest reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to focus on themselves is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology. Everybody is busy with their devices, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media platforms, and creating their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
world. In this world, everybody can control who they will follow, what will they upload, and what content they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
Essentially
this would not be such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media they tend to forget the outside world witch later on causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as anxiety or even depression. A recent study made by Harvard has shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
medial leads to isolation and mental disorders.
Furthermore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
focus more on their individual self they tend to become blind to their surroundings which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
issues such as littering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the consequences of their actions. This way if everybody will throw one rubbish on the ground a day, future generations will not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
nature as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
as we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
steps that could
be taken
to demolish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
could be to illuminate technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
altogether and replace it with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and festivals. This way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can interact with each other and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
a sense of bond that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
. Another considerable solution is that the law enforcement agencies should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
stricter laws on harmful habits that humans perform.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be held
accountable for their actions.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
creatures modern-day habits such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in technology or ecology disasters,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
serious issues to our society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and take action on our weaknesses in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
better society for us and future generations.

IELTS essay people absored wit temsels

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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