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participating in community services is important for students. Agree or disagree?

participating in community services is important for students. Agree or disagree? Lr3KG
In the last three decades, participating in community services is a concept that is practicing in many countries. Some people believe that students, nowadays, are overwhelmed with their studies, so they could not volunteer. On the other hand, there is a substantial body of evidence that cats doubt on this belief. From a personal perspective, teenagers should participate in volunteer should given that it could help them to enhance their social skills, discover their career path, and amplify their confidence. Below I will strive to explain my supporting points in more detail. The first and foremost point, provided that students participate in a volunteer job, they could expand their social networks. To put it in other words, volunteering gives youngsters the chance to meet new people and make new friends, which helps them to be better communicators overall. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on what stated above is students who do volunteer jobs in libraries or children’s camps usually have better communication skills. As a result, helping a community in various services plays a vital role in social skills development. Next, coupled with proper communication, discover a career path is another exquisite point that should be born in mind. To be more elucidate, students who have a particular career interest can volunteer in a place that helps them to gain fundamental knowledge about this career. For instance, two years ago, one of my friends was interested in nursing, thus he did a volunteer job in a hospital and nursing home. Likewise, that helped him to meet people in the field and enhanced his experience with his new area of interest. In addition to that, he was exposed to an internship and professional organization that could be of benefit to him. Moreover, he gained an abundance of other skills, such as solving problems, teamwork, and project planning. Therefore, volunteering not only helps adolescents to integrate information about their career interest, but also promotes their skills. Ultimately, participating in various community services augments youngsters’ self-confidence. For instance, last year, my son participated in a special organization called Habit of Humanity, he helped in building homes for underprivileged families. When he accomplished his task, he felt high self-esteem since it is a tremendous achievement to build a house. Consequently, students who volunteer feel better about themselves and have a positive view of their life and future goal. Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, participating in community services is significant for students. I suggested that schools teach their students about the benefits of volunteering in order to encourage them to improve their communities.
In the last three decades, participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
is a concept
that is
practicing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, nowadays,
are overwhelmed
with their studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
.
On the other hand
, there is a substantial body of evidence that cats doubt on this belief. From a personal perspective,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
should
Did you mean "have given" or "give"?
given
that it could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to enhance their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, discover their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path, and amplify their confidence. Below I will strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my supporting points in more detail.

The
first
and foremost point, provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
participate in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
job, they could expand their social networks. To put it
in other words
, volunteering gives youngsters the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to be better communicators
overall
. A vivid example that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on what stated above is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
jobs in libraries or children’s camps
usually
have better communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
As a result
, helping a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
plays a vital role in social
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "skills'" or "skill's"?
skills
development.

Next
, coupled with proper communication, discover a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path is another exquisite point that should
be born
in mind. To be more elucidate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
interest can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
in a place that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to gain fundamental knowledge about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
For instance
, two years ago, one of my friends
was interested
in nursing,
thus
he did a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
job in a hospital and nursing home.
Likewise
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the field and enhanced his experience with his new area of interest.
In addition
to that, he
was exposed
to an internship and professional organization that could be of benefit to him.
Moreover
, he gained an abundance of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, such as solving problems, teamwork, and project planning.
Therefore
, volunteering not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
adolescents to integrate information about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
interest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
promotes their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Ultimately
, participating in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
augments youngsters’ self-confidence.
For instance
, last year, my son participated in a special organization called Habit of Humanity, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in building homes for underprivileged families. When he accomplished his task, he felt high self-esteem since it is a tremendous achievement to build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
feel better about themselves and have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
view of their life and future goal.

Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
is significant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I suggested that schools teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about the benefits of volunteering in order to encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
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IELTS essay participating in community services is important for students. Agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
435 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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