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Owing a home or renting one

Owing a home or renting one 25lQX
I think that owing a home has some advantages. First, once you finish paying your mortgage, you don't have to be nervous about money of home. Certainly, the cost of buying a home is too expensive, but you can be relieved when you finish paying your mortgage because there are no payments. On the other hand, renting a home means that you have to pay your rent continuously. It is burdensome to keep paying every month. Second, when you rent a home, there is no guarantee that the rent will be constant. The rent may go up because of business. So it is stable to owe a home than renting one. However, I don't think that owing a home rather than renting one is important. It is because you have to maintain your home by oneself. Assuming that you are owing a home. If your home is destroyed by natural disasters such as earthquake or typhoon, you must pay full money to repair your home. on the other hand, if you rent a home, you don't have to pay full money because there are other users of the same home, and landlord of your home. In the first place, there are many people who are not afford to buy a home because of poverty. So if owing a home becomes more important than renting one, rich people will buy a lot of houses and places, so it will much more difficult for poor people to rent a home because of the short of houses.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that owing a home has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
First
, once you finish paying your mortgage, you don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be nervous about money of home.
Certainly
, the cost of buying a home is too expensive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you can
be relieved
when you finish paying your mortgage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are no payments.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a home means that you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
continuously
. It is burdensome to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
paying every month. Second, when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
a home, there is no guarantee that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
will be constant. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
may go up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is stable to owe a home than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
one.
However
, I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that owing a home
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
one is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
maintain your home by oneself. Assuming that you are owing a home. If your home is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by natural disasters such as earthquake or typhoon, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay full money to repair your home.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
a home, you don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay full money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are other users of the same home, and landlord of your home. In the
first
place, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are not
Consider using a past participle here: "afforded".
afford
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of poverty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if owing a home becomes more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
one, rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will much more difficult for poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
a home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the short of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
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IELTS essay Owing a home or renting one

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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