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Observing Biology and Nature in Detail

Observing Biology and Nature in Detail 9XBX
Biology has always been a passion of mine. Ever since I was searching for frogspawn in my grandparent’s pond as a four-year-old and annoying my mum with a battery of jam jars on the window sill in which I was trying to raise tadpoles I have been fascinated with observing nature in detail. Even in English, reading Death of a Naturalist by Seamus Heaney, I found myself thinking up an experiment to do with dragonflies and bluebottles. I have a fish tank at home with three different sorts of fish. I’ve noticed that they all respond differently when I feed them. I’m wondering what else is different in their behavior so, in this extended essay, I’m going to find out how they react to light.
Biology has always been a passion of mine. Ever since I was searching for frogspawn in my grandparent’s pond as a four-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and annoying my mum with a battery of jam jars on the window sill in which I was trying to raise tadpoles I have
been fascinated
with observing nature in detail. Even in English, reading Death of a Naturalist by Seamus
Possible spelling mistake found.
Heaney
, I found myself thinking up an experiment to do with dragonflies and bluebottles. I have a fish tank at home with three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sorts of fish. I’ve noticed that they all respond
differently
when I feed them.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
’m wondering what else is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in their behavior
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, in this extended essay, I’m going to find out how they react to light.
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IELTS essay Observing Biology and Nature in Detail

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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