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Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. What causes obesity and how it can be solved?

Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. What causes obesity and how it can be solved? mxbN
It common these days that people become bigger specially in highly developed countries. By over taking of calories and beer would possibly the root cause of this problem, also with proper diet and exercise is the key to this matter. Obesity is a serious case as a human beings. This is a condition where your body has a excess amount of fats. Based on research, Men has a large count of obese compared to women, Men can eat five to six plate of rice while women consumed a half to one plate of rice. Too much calories intake can affect your body resulting to a disease called gluttony. If people would continue this habit, They are making their life short. In addition, Beer is another factor why people are getting fat. Nowadays people tend to go to the bar on weekends or after work for them to relax without knowing they are consuming more fats on alcohol. However, there are practices for individuals to avoid the mentioned above problem, which is proper diet and exercise. This is the most appropriate course of action, for instance, setting a meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner by eliminating oily and fatty foods. Instead of rice replace it with wheat bread and juice to tea. Furthermore, exercising is good for the heart and it can burn fats, by doing this every morning before work it gives energy and boost person's mood. Therefore, It is clear that when people taking large amount of calories and beer would lead them to obesity, while this can be solve by proper diet and exercise.
It
common these days that
people
become bigger
specially
in
highly
developed countries
. By over taking of calories and beer would
possibly
the root cause of this problem,
also
with proper diet and exercise is the key to this matter.

Obesity is a serious case as a human
beings
. This is a condition where your body has
a
excess amount of
fats
. Based on research,
Men
has a large count of obese compared to women,
Men
can eat five to six plate of rice while women consumed a half to one plate of rice. Too
much
calories
intake can affect your body resulting to a disease called gluttony. If
people
would continue this habit, They are making their life short.

In addition
, Beer is another factor why
people
are getting
fat
. Nowadays
people
tend to go to the bar on weekends or after work for them to relax without knowing they are consuming more
fats
on alcohol.
However
, there are practices for individuals to avoid the mentioned above problem, which is proper diet and exercise. This is the most appropriate course of action,
for instance
, setting a meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner by eliminating oily and fatty foods.
Instead
of rice replace it with wheat bread and juice to tea.
Furthermore
, exercising is
good
for the heart and it can burn
fats
, by doing this every morning
before
work it gives energy and boost person's mood.

Therefore
, It is
clear
that when
people
taking large amount of calories and beer would lead them to obesity, while this can be
solve
by proper diet and exercise.
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IELTS essay Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. What causes obesity and how it can be solved?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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