Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Obesity is a serious problem in many countries especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It has been universally acknowledged that the problem of obesity is escalating at an alarming rate in current scenario. This problem has become a depressing magnitude. Although a plenthora of reasons are there yet some sensible solutions are also available to curb this grave concern. Commencing with the causes which are responsible for the growth of obsessed people in the world. The first reason is that unhealthy food which contains cholesterol becomes popular in most developed countries. Justifying it, with the development in the countries, especially Australia and USA, people possess more money and can therefore consume vast amount of junk food. For example, a recent survey by WHO demonstrate that obesity rate in rural area is more in compare to urban areas because people lives in city consumes more frequently outside food. The second contributing factor is lack of physical exercise due to the fact of sedentary lifestyle that cause weight gain among adolescent. Consequently, overweight peoples are rapidly increases in developed nations. In order to solve these serious issues, some measures can be taken. Firstly, maintaining a healthy diet helps to overcome the issue of obesity. For instance, if government put pressure on food outlets to provide healthy food alternatives to burger and french fries then a person will become healthy. Secondly, regular exercise needs to follow to become fit, energetic and rejuvenate. In addition to this, yoga initiatives could promote by the national authority. Hence, in order to eradicate the issue, one requires to include oil-free food in the diet and perform regular exercise. To conclude, unquestionable, this problem has become a burning question these days. Therefore, it is not an easy task to solve this issue, unless government and people should come forward to mitigate this complex issue.
It has been
universally
acknowledged that the problem of obesity is escalating at an alarming rate in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario. This problem has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a depressing magnitude. Although a
Possible spelling mistake found.
plenthora
of reasons are
Use a comma before ‘yet’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
there
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sensible solutions are
also
available to curb this grave concern.

Commencing with the causes which are responsible for the growth of obsessed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world. The
first
reason is that unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which contains cholesterol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
popular in most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
. Justifying it, with the development in the countries,
especially
Australia and USA,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
possess more money and can
therefore
consume vast amount of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For example
, a recent survey by WHO demonstrate that obesity rate in rural area is more in compare to urban areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
lives
in city consumes more
frequently
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. The second contributing factor is lack of physical exercise due to the fact of sedentary lifestyle that cause weight gain among adolescent.
Consequently
, overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are
rapidly
increases in developed nations.

In order to solve these serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures can
be taken
.
Firstly
, maintaining a healthy diet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of obesity.
For instance
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
put pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outlets to provide healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
alternatives to burger and french fries then a person will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
healthy.
Secondly
, regular exercise needs to follow to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
fit, energetic and rejuvenate.
In addition
to this, yoga initiatives could promote by the national authority.
Hence
, in order to eradicate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, one requires to include oil-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the diet and perform regular exercise.

To conclude
, unquestionable, this problem has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a burning question these days.
Therefore
, it is not an easy task to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, unless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to mitigate this complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.

IELTS essay Obesity is a serious problem in many countries especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Obesity is a serious problem in many countries especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.