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Some people are concerned that children spend too much time on computers - playing games, chatting and watching videos. But all this time is actually good preparation for children, who will have to spend many hours working on computers throughout their education and their working lives.

Some people are concerned that children spend too much time on computers - playing games, chatting and watching videos. But all this time is actually good preparation for children, who will have to spend many hours working on computers throughout their education and their working lives. LOG8
It is nowadays more common than ever to see children spending a large amount of time a day playing on their computers. Some believe that this will prepare them for their future education and careers which will involve a lot of computer uses. However, I strongly disagree with that because of several reasons that I will discuss in this essay. Some may point out that starting using computers from young age, whether that is for socialising or entertainment, will benefit the children as in the future they will have to often work or study on computers. Once that time comes, children who have already started using computers long before will be able to use computers as a tool for their studying or working more efficiently and possibly at faster pace. That might be because those children are already familiar with the basic functions of computers and certain software. Yet, a significant number of those children tend to spend too much time on their computers that they may lack other aspects of development. Socialising can be an example of that. Although children may be able to connect to others through online platforms when they are using computers, that is unlikely to develop long lasting relationships which might benefit them when they are older. It is also possible that they will face some problems socialising in real life with their friends once they enter schools. That is why I believe small children should not spend a large amount of time on computers. Another reason against the idea that ‘it is positive for children to spend a lot of time on computers as a preparation for their education and working lives’ is that it is not too late to start learning how to use computers when they start studying or working. Generally, most computer programmes are designed to not be too complicated to use. Adults working these days who did not have computers to use in their childhood can be an example to show that it is definitely not a problem to start learning to use computers at later stages in life. To conclude, although spending a lot of time on computers from young age can benefit children in certain aspect, I believe it is much more worthwhile and better for the children to spend that time doing other things which will improve their development as a child.
It is nowadays more common than ever to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spending a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
a day playing on their computers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that this will prepare them for their future education and careers which will involve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
.
However
, I
strongly
disagree with that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons that I will discuss in this essay.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may point out that starting using computers from young age, whether
that is
for
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
or entertainment, will benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as in the future they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
work or study on computers. Once that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
using computers long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers as a tool for their studying or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
more
efficiently
and
possibly
at faster pace. That might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are already familiar with the basic functions of computers and certain software.

Yet
, a significant number of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their computers that they may lack other aspects of development.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Socialising' is British English.
Socialising
can be an example of that. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may be able to connect to others through online platforms when they are using computers,
that is
unlikely to develop
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
relationships which might benefit them when they are older. It is
also
possible that they will face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
in real life with their friends once they enter schools.
That is
why I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computers.

Another reason against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that ‘it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computers as a preparation for their education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
’ is that it is not too late to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
studying or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
Generally
, most computer
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are designed
to not be too complicated to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
these days who did not have computers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in their childhood can be an example to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that it is definitely not a problem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers at later stages in life.

To conclude
, although spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computers from young age can benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in certain aspect, I believe it is much more worthwhile and better for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing other things which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their development as a child.

IELTS essay Some people are concerned that children spend too much time on computers - playing games, chatting and watching videos. But all this time is actually good preparation for children, who will have to spend many hours working on computers throughout their education and their working lives.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
395 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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