Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays technology is increasing being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

21st century is rightly known as the technological era. The 1990s saw the growth of technology and various devices that could help people from all around the globe connect with each other. From the 1990s to the current year 2020, technology has undergone tremendous changes. Governments of various countries have started using this advancement to their advantage. With cellphone tracking systems and security cameras, it has become easy to catch hold of criminals. These systems and devices help to catch cyber criminals too who hide behind their screens and loot money from strangers. Such systems are also useful to keep a data and track of the citizens of the country. With virtual data being stored and uploaded into computers, it is easy to find records of an individual from any part of the country. The best example of this system is the Aadhar Card in India. This card is an identity of Indian citizenship. The card contains details like your telephone number, residential address, date of birth, photo and even scanned finger prints. This card is essential for an Indian citizen as this card also helps you to avail banking and other facilities. The data on this card is stored virtually and can be accessed by the government officials of India. On the other hand, there has been many doubts raised by the citizens on how save their data is with the government. The government may misuse this data or sell these data to private companies. The questions of privacy has also been raised. The Government gets to know all the private and sensitive details of your life. There is no guarantee on how these information can be used in the future. People are not only being monitored by the Government but also by private, huge giant techs like Google, Facebook, Instagram and Whatsapp. The concern over how Facebook collects and uses the data has been raised by the Senate in the United States. Increased monitoring can lead to control of our lives by the government and private techs. I feel technology has its advantages, on the contrary, these issues makes the disadvantages overweigh the advantages. The best documentary to watch on this concern would be 'The Social Dilemma' which is available on Netflix, an online streaming platform.
21st century is
rightly
known as the technological era. The 1990s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the growth of technology and various devices that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all around the globe connect with each other. From the 1990s to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
year 2020, technology has undergone tremendous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
of various countries have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
using this advancement to their advantage. With cellphone tracking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
and security cameras, it has become easy to catch hold of criminals. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
and devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to catch cyber criminals too who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
behind their screens and loot money from strangers. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
are
also
useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of the citizens of the country. With virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
being stored
and uploaded into computers, it is easy to find records of an individual from any part of the country. The best example of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aadhar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Card
in India. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
is an identity of Indian citizenship. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
contains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
like your telephone number, residential address, date of birth, photo and even scanned
This word is normally spelled as one.
finger prints
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
is essential for an Indian citizen as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you to avail banking and other facilities. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
is stored
virtually
and can
be accessed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
officials of India.
On the other hand
, there has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doubts raised by the citizens on how save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
is with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
may misuse this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
or sell these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. The questions of privacy
You should probably use “have”.
has
also
been raised
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to know all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
and sensitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of your life. There is no guarantee on how
‘These’ does not seem to match the singular noun ‘information’. Did you mean “this information” or “these informations”?
these information
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
being monitored
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
, huge giant techs like Google, Facebook, Instagram and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
. The concern over how Facebook collects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
has
been raised
by the Senate in the United States. Increased monitoring can lead to control of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
techs. I feel technology has its advantages,
on the contrary
, these issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the disadvantages
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the advantages. The best documentary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on this concern would be 'The Social Dilemma' which is available on Netflix, an online streaming platform.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasing being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
378 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts