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Nowadays, some people may think that someone who drops out of the school can succeed in their life better than others who graduated from University. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the above statement due to the following reasons.

Nowadays, some people may think that someone who drops out of the school can succeed in their life better than others who graduated from University. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the above statement due to the following reasons. qNad
Nowadays, some people may think that someone who drops out of school can succeed in their life better than others who graduated from University. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the above statement due to the following reasons. First of all, the purpose of the certificates issued by a school or University is mainly to help the students to seek a good job after graduation, and however, it does not guarantee that they will succeed in their future career paths. In fact, many employers prefer to hire employees who have some relevant experience with some certificates. After the employees are employed, the managers and supervisors mostly consider their experiences and relationships in the company. For instance, some people who are fresh graduate students may initially feel a bit difficult for seeking a suitable job that they do not have any relevant experiences and also they do not understand what this society is going. In contrast, although other people do not have any educational qualifications, they still can seek a job and also maintain it for longer that they may become more mature from their previous mistakes. Thus, life experiences are very important to the students who are fresh graduates in this society. Lastly, studying life is totally different from working life that the students can only concentrate on learning the knowledge of the textbooks from teachers in school and however, the workers may need to manage a variety of things such as job duties, human relationship, and political issues in the office. Furthermore, if they have a family and children, they will feel stressed not only from the job but also from family and children. Indeed, it is not so easy to work in this society that is more complicated for people who have graduated from University without any experience. In contrast, some people who graduated from primary school have been gaining more experiences for many years and also they have achieved their goals such as their own businesses and early retirement. The main reason is that they may know how to live in this world and also how to know people's hearts around them. Thus, it is very important to everyone who is living and working in a real-world although some people may have a bachelor's degree or above. Lee Ka Shing who is a rich and successful businessman without any education qualifications is a good example. In conclusion, education qualifications are very important to everyone but life experiences and personality are more important in this world. Thus, the students who are studying in University should be encouraged to do part-time jobs and also learn about social science from doing part-time jobs in order to prepare for their future career life.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
drops out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can succeed in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
better than others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
graduated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement due to the following reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the purpose of the certificates issued by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is
mainly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to seek a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after graduation, and
however
, it does not guarantee that they will succeed in their future career paths. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers prefer to hire employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certificates. After the employees
are employed
, the managers and supervisors
mostly
consider their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and relationships in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are fresh graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may
initially
feel a bit difficult for seeking a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that they do not have any relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and
also
they do not understand what this society is going.
In contrast
, although other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have any educational qualifications, they
still
can seek a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
also
maintain it for longer that they may become more mature from their previous mistakes.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are fresh graduates in this society.

Lastly
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concentrate on learning the knowledge of the textbooks from teachers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
however
, the workers may need to manage a variety of things such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
duties, human relationship, and political issues in the office.
Furthermore
, if they have a family and children, they will feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
from family and children.
Indeed
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy to work in this society
that is
more complicated for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have graduated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
graduated from primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have been gaining more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years and
also
they have achieved their goals such as their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
businesses and early retirement. The main reason is that they may know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this world and
also
how to know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's hearts around them.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is living and working in a real-world although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have a bachelor's degree or above. Lee
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ka
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is a rich and successful businessman without any education qualifications is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example.

In conclusion
, education qualifications are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and personality are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
in this world.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
should
be encouraged
to do part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
also
learn about social science from doing part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in order to prepare for their future career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, some people may think that someone who drops out of the school can succeed in their life better than others who graduated from University. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the above statement due to the following reasons.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
453 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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