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Nowadays, people try to balance between works and other part of lives. However, not many is able to achieve this. What problems does this cause ? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue ?

Nowadays, people try to balance between works and other part of lives. However, not many is able to achieve this. What problems does this cause? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue? PVEmK
Loosing balance between work and other aspects of life is a common issue of humans in this modern era. Although it left some dramatic consequences, people are totally capable of solving this problem. Many people now are suffering from failing to meet their expectations in balancing their life, which is most evident in their health and relationships. First, the amount of stress caused by this issue is devastating both human physical and mental health that deters them to strive to arrange the workload and housework more efficiently. A statistic had shown that a quarter of the US citizens admit to having ‘ extreme nervousness’ in balancing their lives- a terrible number indicates the state of this issue. On top of that, satisfying all acquaintances’ demand is almost impossible thus people often find it difficult to maintain all of their relationships. For instance, if a person concentrates too much on their job, the other relationships, such as family or friends will be ignored or even ruined. However, humans can control their life follow some of these solutions. The individual’s attitude toward their decisions is the most important, therefore it is necessary to balance their health firstly. As a result, taking good care of the body would provide the essential energy to streamline work flow and personal activities. Moreover, the person should clearly define the limits between work and other aspects. For example, people should not bring their work home, or should have a private space to work to avoid affecting the family atmosphere. In conclusion, it is not easy to have a healthy work-life balance, but people still have the ability to solve it effectively
Loosing balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and other aspects of life is a common issue of humans in this modern era. Although it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dramatic consequences,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
totally
capable of solving this problem.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are suffering from failing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their expectations in balancing their life, which is most evident in their health and relationships.
First
, the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
caused by this issue is devastating both human physical and mental health that deters them to strive to arrange the workload and housework more
efficiently
. A statistic had shown that a quarter of the US citizens admit to having ‘ extreme nervousness’ in balancing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
- a terrible number indicates the state of this issue.
On top of that
, satisfying all acquaintances’ demand is almost impossible
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
find it difficult to maintain all of their relationships.
For instance
, if a person concentrates too much on their job, the other relationships, such as family or friends will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
or even ruined.

However
, humans can control their life follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these solutions. The individual’s attitude toward their decisions is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
therefore
it is necessary to balance their health
firstly
.
As a result
, taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
care of the body would provide the essential energy to streamline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
flow and personal activities.
Moreover
, the person should
clearly
define the limits between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and other aspects.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not bring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
home, or should have a private space to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to avoid affecting the family atmosphere.

In conclusion
, it is not easy to have a healthy work-life balance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
have the ability to solve it
effectively
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people try to balance between works and other part of lives. However, not many is able to achieve this. What problems does this cause? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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