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Nowadays, people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most time at home rather than going outdoors. Discuss the reasons, is this negative or positive development?

Nowadays, people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most time at home rather than going outdoors. Discuss the reasons, is this negative or positive development? 33Bb
In this modern world, most of the people spend time at home rather than go out. Because of increase in use of social media making positions. This might developers much more positive and negative impact on human life. In fact, the social media such as WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter and telegram also television which had been increasing the online interaction between people. This may lead to focus on home. Another causing factor is this tech world built so many applications for online shopping, bill payments and phone recharges also people developed their jobs through network. Because of that people dont want to go out, they rest their flats. Eventhough they spend all their time in the electronics such as TV, mobiles and laptops. On the other hand, these isolation make both positive and negative problems on society. As a result of demerit months problems are decreases face to face interactions between people. Then continuous usage of mobiles and tv decreases eyesight also developed health problems like back pain, headache etc. Mireover discussing merits about, such developments help to gaining knowledge of children and adults. Next this makes an easier communication between people and countries. In conclusion, the people should go out is more appropriate than staying at home. Mingling between human makes apeace of mind. Thus avoiding health issues. Sometimes isolation also provide good rest.
In this modern world, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend time at home
rather
than go out.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of increase in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of social media making positions. This might developers much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on human life.

In fact, the social media such as WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter and telegram
also
television which had been increasing the online interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This may lead to focus on home. Another causing factor is this tech
Make sure that the adjective 'world' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'built'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
world built
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
applications for online shopping, bill payments and phone recharges
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
developed their jobs through network.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
want to go out, they rest their flats.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
they spend all their time in the electronics such as TV, mobiles and laptops.

On the other hand
,
Did you mean "this isolation" or "these isolations"?
these isolation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
problems on society.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result of demerit months problems are decreases face to face interactions between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Then continuous usage of mobiles and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
decreases eyesight
also
developed health problems like back pain, headache etc.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mireover
discussing merits about, such developments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to gaining knowledge of children and adults.
Next
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an easier communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and countries.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should go out is more appropriate than staying at home. Mingling between human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
Possible spelling mistake found.
apeace
of mind.
Thus
avoiding health issues.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
isolation
also
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
rest.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most time at home rather than going outdoors. Discuss the reasons, is this negative or positive development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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