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Nowadays, people are spending increasingly large amounts of money on their marriage parties. Many people feel large and expensive weddings cause problems for the bride and groom. Do you agree? Use personal examples in your response

Nowadays, people are spending increasingly large amounts of money on their marriage parties. Many people feel large and expensive weddings cause problems for the bride and groom. Do you agree? Use personal examples in your response pk1L
Marrying couples often aspire to throw lavish wedding receptions with which to celebrate their union. However, often these parties carry with them a burden that newlyweds cannot comfortably bear. It is agreed that excessive spending on marriage celebrations can cause issues for new husbands and wives. This will be shown by analyzing how excessive matrimonial ceremonies can encumber newlyweds financially and cause the entire wedding gathering to be somewhat impersonal in nature. Firstly, many marrying couples often create problems for themselves when they spend beyond their means on their marriage reception. For example, some friends of mine in China borrowed an exorbitant amount of money to pay for a very large wedding they held several years ago. Acting in such a prodigal way meant that for the two years following their matrimony, these young people had to dedicate every last cent of their earnings to their debt. As this money could have been put towards building a better life for themselves, it is clear that problems can arise for people who spend extreme amounts on their weddings. In addition to this, huge weddings can cause a marriage reception to be impersonal in nature. For instance, I once attended a very large and extremely beautiful Iranian wedding. Although perhaps the most stunning matrimonial ceremony I have ever been to, the guest list was so large that I barely had a chance to give the bride and groom my wishes and meet their parents. These newlyweds later expressed their regret at not being able to mingle with their guests comfortably. As their experience shows, it is obvious that large weddings can cause problems for brides and grooms. Following this look, it has been proven that large and expensive wedding parties can incite issues for marrying couples. Although many marriage arrangements are culturally sensitive, it is hoped that modern couples weigh the pros and cons of throwing a lavish ceremony before deciding to do so.
Marrying
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couples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
aspire to throw lavish
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wedding
receptions with which to

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celebrate
their union.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
these parties carry with them a burden that

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
newlyweds
cannot
comfortably
bear. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that excessive spending
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
on


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
marriage
celebrations can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
issues for new husbands and wives. This will
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
be


shown by analyzing how excessive matrimonial ceremonies can encumber

newlyweds
financially
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
gathering to be somewhat

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
impersonal
in nature.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
marrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
create problems for themselves when they

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
spend
beyond their means on their marriage reception.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
friends
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


mine in China borrowed an exorbitant amount of money to pay for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
wedding
they held several years ago. Acting in such a prodigal way meant that
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
for


the two years following their matrimony, these young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had to dedicate every

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
last
cent of their earnings to their debt.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
this money could have
been put
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towards


building a better life for themselves, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that problems can arise for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
spend
extreme amounts on their weddings.

In addition
to this, huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
a marriage reception to be impersonal in

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nature
.
For instance
, I once attended a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
and
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Iranian


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
wedding
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
perhaps the most stunning matrimonial ceremony I have
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
ever


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
been
to, the guest list was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
that I
barely
had a chance to give the bride and groom my wishes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their parents. These newlyweds later expressed
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
their


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regret
at not being able to mingle with their guests
comfortably
. As their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
experience


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
shows
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
problems for brides and grooms.

Following this look, it has
been proven
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
and expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
parties can

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
incite
issues for marrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
marriage arrangements
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
are


culturally
sensitive, it
is hoped
that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
weigh the pros and cons of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
throwing
a lavish ceremony
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people are spending increasingly large amounts of money on their marriage parties. Many people feel large and expensive weddings cause problems for the bride and groom. Do you agree? Use personal examples in your response

Essay
  American English
25 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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