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- In many countries, young children are looked after during the day while their parents go to work. In a sense, they are raised by guardians and not their biological parents. What is your opinion of this family arrangement?

- In many countries, young children are looked after during the day while their parents go to work. In a sense, they are raised by guardians and not their biological parents. What is your opinion of this family arrangement? Kky0
Customs regarding the raising of children vary from on culture to another. In many countries, children are cared for by daytime guardians while their parents work to build careers. It is argued that this form of rearing does not benefit children as much as when they are raised directly by their biological parents. This will be proven by looking at how such a family arrangement causes misguided values and feelings of abandonment among the young people in question. Firstly, parents who choose their professional goals over raising their children run the risk of setting poor examples for their offspring. For instance, children of double income families are often indirectly taught that money is more important than family unity. These children grow up with unhealthy opinions about the significance of income level and could potentially become adults who judge other human beings based on monetary status. As this reasoning shows, children are best raised by their parents. Secondly, young children regularly separated from their parents may experience feelings of abandonment and this can lead to other problems. For example, it is a proven fact that Canadian children of single, working parents tend not to perform as well in school as their classmates from nuclear familial arrangements boasting a stay at-home mother or father. This example shows that there is a clear link between a child’s academic performance and the level of attention they receive from their parents. Thus, it is clear that young people are not benefited when they are raised by guardians. After analyzing the above points, the merits of regular parental presence can be seen. It has thus been proven that parents should avoid working patterns that are detrimental to the development of their children. It is hoped parents everywhere commit to do what they can to ensure they are the primary guidance-providers of their young ones
Customs regarding the raising of
children
vary from on culture to another. In
many


countries,
children
are cared
for by daytime guardians while their
parents
work to

build
careers. It
is argued
that this form of rearing does not benefit
children
as
much


as
when they
are raised
directly
by their biological
parents
. This will
be proven
by


looking at how such a family arrangement causes misguided values and feelings of

abandonment
among the
young
people
in question.

Firstly
,
parents
who choose their professional goals over raising their
children
run the

risk
of setting poor examples for their offspring.
For instance
,
children
of double income families are
often
indirectly
taught that money is more
important
than family unity. These
children
grow up with unhealthy opinions about the significance of income level and could
potentially
become adults who judge other human beings based on monetary status. As this reasoning
shows
,
children
are best raised by
their


parents
.

Secondly
,
young
children
regularly
separated from their
parents
may experience

feelings
of abandonment and this can lead to other problems.
For example
, it is
a


proven fact that Canadian
children
of single, working
parents
tend not to perform as

well
in school as their classmates from nuclear familial arrangements boasting a stay at-home mother or father. This example
shows
that there is a
clear
link between a child’s academic performance and the level of attention they receive from their
parents
.
Thus
, it is
clear
that
young
people
are not benefited when they
are raised
by guardians.

After analyzing the above points, the merits of regular parental presence can be

seen
. It has
thus
been proven
that
parents
should avoid working patterns that
are


detrimental
to the development of their
children
. It
is hoped
parents
everywhere


commit to do what they can to ensure they are the primary guidance-providers of

their
young
ones
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IELTS essay - In many countries, young children are looked after during the day while their parents go to work. In a sense, they are raised by guardians and not their biological parents. What is your opinion of this family arrangement?

Essay
  American English
18 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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