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Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same jobs. What problems this causes? What are solutions?

Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same jobs. What problems this causes? What are solutions? GyXL
In this age, it clearly observed that the large number of mature people has to compete with younger people for the same vacancies. In this whole discussion firstly, I would take about the problem and then it's solution. To begin with, firstly I would like to talk about the problems. For this substance, the employer think that to giving the opportunity to fresher might be a good decision for their business. In other words, people like to gave a chance to young and fresh talent rather than mature one. For example, on the basis of data that shown in a survey by UAE council committee that most people like to gave the job to young people in comparison of mature people. Futher more, if we talk about the solution so we can say the government plays a vital role in it. To elaborate it, the authority should gave the sufficient work and proper training to old people so that they can do work according to modern age. For instance, the government of London was held the seminar for elder employers to educate them according to the new advancement. As result of this step, they got about 20% more benifit every year. At the end, we can say that employment is a necessary part of our life. It is equally important for young people and elders. So, the authority should make efforts to give equal opportunities to both.
In this age, it
clearly
observed that the large number of mature
people
has to
compete with younger
people
for the same vacancies. In this whole discussion
firstly
, I would take about the problem and then it's solution.

To
begin
with,
firstly
I would like to talk about the problems. For this substance, the employer
think
that to giving the opportunity to fresher might be a
good
decision for their business.
In other words
,
people
like
to gave
a chance to young and fresh talent
rather
than mature one.
For example
, on the basis of data that shown in a survey
by UAE
council committee that most
people
like
to gave
the job to young
people
in comparison
of mature
people
.

Futher
more, if we talk about the solution
so
we can say the
government
plays a vital role in it. To elaborate it, the authority should
gave
the sufficient work and proper training to
old
people
so
that they can do work according to modern age.
For instance
, the
government
of London
was held
the seminar for elder employers to educate them according to the new advancement. As result of this step, they
got
about 20% more
benifit
every year.

At the
end
, we can say that employment is a necessary part of our life. It is
equally
important
for young
people
and elders.
So
, the authority should
make
efforts to give equal opportunities to both.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same jobs. What problems this causes? What are solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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