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Today people purchase more than, they need or those products which are completely unnecessary for them. Why do you think this happens? And what are some problems associated with this?

Today people purchase more than, they need or those products which are completely unnecessary for them. Why do you think this happens? And what are some problems associated with this? ykWr
Individual buy goods beyond the limit nowadays or those articles which are unless for them. However, there are different reason as well as the budget and throw away society are major problems of this. Among distinct cause of purchase not required things, major one is show off in society by wealthy people. To explain, they are tend to buy more and more products such as luxury cars, bullets. And, they will be buying the furniture for each room after that old ones carelessly throw away from them. Secondly, the advertisements are allure to buy new products such as when people see the discount at goods and some new features through the advertisement then they are attract with updated products. Despite the above mentioned causes of purchase more than, they need there are different problems occur due to this. First is, hard to manage the budget. When masses buy more and more after that wekens their financial situation and they may come under deft. Because, they will take the loan for buy the new goods. After that, the throw away societies are create. The Masses can purchase update product and old ones can throw. They cannot use the old things and buy more and more. Due to this, these society are create. In conclusion, although show off in society and advertisements are major reason of purchase update products, couple of problems are occur such as manage the budget and create throw away society due to this.
Individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
beyond the limit nowadays or those articles which are unless for them.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reason
as well
as the budget and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are major problems of this. Among distinct cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
not required things, major one is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, they are
Consider using a past participle here: "tended".
tend
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
such as luxury cars, bullets. And, they will be buying the furniture for each room after that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones
carelessly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from them.
Secondly
, the advertisements are allure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
such as when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the discount at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new features through the advertisement then they are
Consider using a past participle here: "attracted".
attract
with updated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Despite the above mentioned causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
more than, they need there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems occur due to this.
First
is,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to manage the budget. When masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
more and more after that
Possible spelling mistake found.
wekens
their financial
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
situation and
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
under deft.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, they will take the loan for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
are
Consider using a past participle here: "created".
create
. The Masses can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
update
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throw
. They cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
things and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
more and more. Due to this, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are
Consider using a past participle here: "created".
create
.
In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and advertisements are major reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
update
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
problems are
Consider using a past participle here: "occurred".
occur
such as manage the budget and create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
due to this.
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IELTS essay Today people purchase more than, they need or those products which are completely unnecessary for them. Why do you think this happens? And what are some problems associated with this?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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