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Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. kPpd
These days most of the people like to travel and explore new places for relaxation activities such as vacation, but others opine that its had a negative impact of travelling to foreign countries. However, I reckon that Visiting the abroad countries has positive impacts Firstly, many people visits abroad for numerous reasons such as, family vacation, sight seeing which helps them to feel relax from there work pressure. Each country has its unique nature and wonderful places to Visit like Egypt has pyramid, The united states has Hollywood and Norway has the great climate view like northern lights, which gives you great experience to the sight seekers and gain myriad of experience in their life. Apart from that travelling to foreign countries not only to provide travelling Experience but also visiters can gain knowledge of business which are not Available in there countries for example, airbnd, it is a company which provide shelter for the people alternative to hotels 2 bedroom flat can also Turn to airbnd business, likewise so many people gain wealth through this type of business ideas. In contrast to this visiting foreign countries may leads to negative impacts Such as trafficking, smuggling, and prostitution. Masses who land in abroad nations are unaware of what is happening around them. For instance Thailand is a country which is famous for its tourist spots but in a survey carryout by Hindustan times, most of the visiters travel to thailand To fulfil their sexual desires which leads to transmit of sexual dieses like HIV. To conclude, travelling to abroad enhance in gaining different experience like watching tourist attraction places and knowing their culture as well as aware of numerous business projects. which gives positives experience rather than negative.
These days most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to travel and explore new places for relaxation activities such as vacation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others opine that
Did you mean "it's" (="it has") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of travelling to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, I reckon that

Visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
visits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for numerous reasons such as, family vacation, sight seeing which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to feel relax from there work pressure. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has its unique nature and wonderful places
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


Visit like Egypt has
Use past participle here: "pyramided".
pyramid
, The
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
united states
has Hollywood and Norway

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
has
the great climate view like northern lights, which gives you great experience to the sight seekers and gain myriad of experience in their life.

Apart from that travelling to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to provide travelling

Experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
visiters
can gain knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
which are not

Available in
Did you mean "their"?
there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
airbnd
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which provide shelter for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
alternative to hotels
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
2 bedroom
flat can
also


Turn to
Possible spelling mistake found.
airbnd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
likewise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain wealth through this

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

In contrast
to this visiting foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts

Such as trafficking, smuggling, and prostitution. Masses who land in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
nations are unaware of what is happening around them.
For instance
Thailand is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for its tourist spots
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in a survey carryout by Hindustan times, most of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
visiters
travel to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
thailand


To fulfil their sexual desires which leads to transmit of sexual
Possible spelling mistake found.
dieses
like HIV.

To conclude
, travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
enhance in gaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
experience

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
like
watching tourist attraction places and knowing their culture
as well
as

aware of numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
projects.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
gives positives experience
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to.

Essay
  American English
15 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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