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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In this globalised world, athletics are a great way of bringing entertainment in the home country. Some folks are of the view that hosting international athletics events in the home country are beneficial, while other folks think that this might not be a good stance. In my view, great benefits can be reaped by hosting international athletics events in the home country. This essay will support aforementioned stance by analysing the general happiness among the masses and the benefits from the tourist inflows that hosting international events in the domestic country may bring, while also discussing the possible negatives of taking such initiatives. Isn't it exciting to hear that your country is hosting an international athletics event? It certainly is! For example, the government decided to host a Cricket World Cup. For Asians, watching and playing Cricket is a great source of entertainment. Moreover, a Cricket World Cup will force the supporters of each country to come in the hosting country to support their respective players. Hence, tourist will bring remittances and their expenditures will contribute to the economy. Hence, it can be rightly said that hosting international athletics events will benefit the country. However, there are some possible negatives of hosting international athletics events as well. The head of the line drawback is the threat to security. Obviously, high profile tourists and VIPs may be coming to the country and they may be targetted in any terrorist activity. For instance, some years ago the Sri Lankan team was terrorised in a terrorist attack that happened in Pakistan when the Sri Lankan Cricket team was there to play a series. Therefore, security threats should not be undermined. In conclusion, hosting international athletics events is a great way of bringing entertainment and tourist inflows in hosting country which ultimately benefits the society and economy; however, security threats are a major concern. Therefore it is clear that hosting international events are beneficial for the hosting country. However, to call the shots, security measures should be highly emphasized by the hosting country's government.
In this
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalised' is British English.
globalised
world, athletics are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
way of bringing entertainment in the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
folks are of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
athletics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
are beneficial, while other folks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this might not be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stance. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
can
be reaped
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
athletics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This essay will support aforementioned stance by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the general happiness among the masses and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
inflows that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in the domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
may bring, while
also
discussing the possible negatives of taking such initiatives.

Isn't it exciting to hear that your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
athletics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
? It
certainly
is!
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
decided to host a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cricket
World Cup. For Asians, watching and playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cricket
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
source of entertainment.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cricket
World Cup will force the supporters of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to support their respective players.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
will bring remittances and their expenditures will contribute to the economy.
Hence
, it can be
rightly
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
athletics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
the country.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible negatives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
athletics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
as well
. The head of the line drawback is the threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
.
Obviously
, high profile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and VIPs may be coming to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
they may be
Possible spelling mistake found.
targetted
in any terrorist activity.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years ago the Sri Lankan team was
Possible spelling mistake. 'terrorised' is British English.
terrorised
in a terrorist attack that happened in Pakistan when the Sri Lankan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cricket
team was there to play a series.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
threats should not
be undermined
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
athletics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
way of bringing entertainment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
inflows in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which
ultimately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
the society and economy;
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
threats are a major concern.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, to call the shots,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
measures should be
highly
emphasized by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
country's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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