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Nowadays many people are finding it difficult to live in large cities. What are the causes of their hurdles? What measures can be taken to improve their situations?

Nowadays many people are finding it difficult to live in large cities. What are the causes of their hurdles? What measures can be taken to improve their situations? 0DgB
The glitz and glamour of the city life may be enchanting for some but those who live in metropolises encounter a number of issues in their day to day life. In this essay I will discuss the main problems associated with this issue. Moreover, I completely agree that authorities should encourage the citizens to move to remote areas. People living in modern day megacities face a number of problems everyday. Firstly, the daily commute to work is a nightmare for most. This is because many offices in large cities are located in a central business district; usually the most expensive region of the city. Meanwhile, most workers live in far away suburbs where they can afford a decent-size dwelling. As a result, employees can end up spending as much as 2 hours travelling back and forth between their homes and offices every day, mostly stuck in traffic. Secondly, the congestion from millions of vehicles in the big cities causes severe pollution especially during winter months when most large cities are blanketed in thick smog. In fact, pollution levels in cities like New Delhi and Beijing was so high last year that the local governments had to impose restrictions on the number of vehicles running on the road, leading to even more disruption in the day-to-day lives of the office going residents. Owing to these problems, some people have suggested that governments should motivate people to move to remote areas. I agree with this solution primarily because it solves the main issues faced by megacities. In fact, authorities ought to introduce incentives for companies to shift their offices to regional towns. If companies relocate to these remote areas, they will no longer need to rent offices in expensive real estate, and will be able to hire local talent. This will have a knock on effect on other services too. For instance, once offices start cropping up in regional areas, cafes, pubs, schools and hospitals will follow too. Furthermore, as regional towns are much smaller, people will be able to live closer to their workplace, thus improving their overall quality of life. In fact, I still fondly remember the days when I used to work in a small regional town with a population of just 100, 000. My workplace was so close to my apartment that I used to come home to have lunch everyday. In conclusion, everyday problems in large cities vary from long commute times to unhealthy levels of pollution. I agree that authorities should encourage people to move to regional towns to alleviate this issue.
The glitz and glamour of the city life may be enchanting for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in metropolises encounter a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life. In this essay I will discuss the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
Moreover
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that authorities should encourage the citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to remote areas.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
living in modern day
Possible spelling mistake found.
megacities
face a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
Firstly
, the daily commute to work is a nightmare for most. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are located
in a central business district;
usually
the most expensive region of the city. Meanwhile, most workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in far away suburbs where they can afford a decent-size dwelling.
As a result
, employees can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up spending as much as 2 hours travelling back and forth between their homes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
every day,
mostly
stuck in traffic.
Secondly
, the congestion from millions of vehicles in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
causes severe pollution
especially
during winter months when most large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are blanketed
in thick smog. In fact, pollution levels in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
like New Delhi and Beijing was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high last year that the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
had to impose restrictions on the number of vehicles running on the road, leading to even more disruption in the day-to-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
going residents.

Owing to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have suggested that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to remote areas. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this solution
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it solves the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
faced by
Possible spelling mistake found.
megacities
. In fact, authorities ought to introduce incentives for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to shift their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
relocate to these remote areas, they will no longer need to rent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
in expensive real estate, and will be able to hire local talent. This will have a knock on effect on other services too.
For instance
, once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
cropping up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
areas,
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
, pubs, schools and hospitals will follow too.
Furthermore
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
are much smaller,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
closer to their workplace,
thus
improving their
overall
quality of life. In fact, I
still
fondly
remember the days when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to work in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
with a population of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
100, 000. My workplace was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
close to my apartment that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home to have lunch
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.

In conclusion
, everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
vary from long commute times to unhealthy levels of pollution. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that authorities should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
to alleviate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people are finding it difficult to live in large cities. What are the causes of their hurdles? What measures can be taken to improve their situations?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
426 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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