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Nowadays, many countries are organising mega sports events to improve its economic growth. ... Moreover, the host country also earns very high revenue by selling tickets of the event. Eventually, arranging international sports events boost the economy of the host country.

Nowadays, many countries are organising mega sports events to improve its economic growth. . . . Moreover, the host country also earns very high revenue by selling tickets of the event. Eventually, arranging international sports events boost the economy of the host country. 0AED9
n today’s world, most of the people are involved in a particular game, they are watching different types of game such as cricket, football and baseball. These games are played by all over countries' populations. On the contrary side, some people thinking, this things are not important, because the international sporting event is coming with more problems. Before commenting on giving statement, i will discuss about the both of point of view in following paragraphs. In the recent survey based on worldwide and found that, almost all countries are organizing 5 to 7 international sports event in one year, because of public demand and for some business. While particular country is host one international sport, this country also introduce their culture, hand arts and other related programs and country humans are earning some money from sporting such as a business selling food and flages, hand made products and other related things. Furthermore, if countries are organising an international sports eventevent, due to which point countries ate more popular in the world. In addition, they make more job oppertunity, this things are more important for society and the individual. On the other hand, some people defend that given statement, therefore they do not aware about the advantages of international sporting event. They are watching only one side and only disadvantages. They think, while international sports conduting by their countries, at that time some foreign people are coming their countries with their culture, as the reason they believe this things are not important. Moreover, some people are fearing fir international diseases, because they think international sportsmen and sportswomen are coming with medical problems. To sum up the discussion, each and every coin has two side, in my opinion international sporting is important for countries' development and this things are increasing GDP. On the other side, those people are thinking, this things are coming with problems, in my view, government are conducting some programs and teach about advantages for a sporting eventevent
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
n
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are involved
in a particular game, they are watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of game such as cricket, football and baseball. These games
are played
by all over countries' populations.
On the contrary
side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
thinking,
Did you mean "these"?
this
things are not
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important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
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international
sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
with more problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
commenting on giving statement,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
both of point of view in following paragraphs. In the recent survey based on worldwide and found that, almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are organizing 5 to 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in one year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of public demand and for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
business. While particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is host one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
also
introduce their culture, hand arts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
related programs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
humans are earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money from sporting such as a business selling food and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "flags", the plural form of the noun 'flag'?
flages
, hand made products and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
related things.
Furthermore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organise' and 'organize') within a single text.
organising
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventevent
, due to which point
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countries
ate more popular in the world.
In addition
, they
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make
more job
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppertunity
,
Did you mean "these"?
this
things are more
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important
for society and the individual.

On the
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other
hand,
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some
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people
defend that
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given
statement,
therefore
they do not aware about the advantages of
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international
sporting
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event
. They are watching
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only
one side and
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only
disadvantages. They
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think
, while
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international
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sports
Possible spelling mistake found.
conduting
by their
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countries
, at that time
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some
foreign
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people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with their culture, as the reason they believe
Did you mean "these"?
this
things are not
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important
.
Moreover
,
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some
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people
are fearing fir
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international
diseases,
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because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sportsmen and sportswomen are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
with medical problems. To sum up the discussion, each and every coin has two side, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for countries' development and
Did you mean "these"?
this
things are increasing GDP. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are thinking,
Did you mean "these"?
this
things are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
with problems, in my view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
are conducting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
programs and teach about advantages for
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a sporting
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
eventevent
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many countries are organising mega sports events to improve its economic growth. . . . Moreover, the host country also earns very high revenue by selling tickets of the event. Eventually, arranging international sports events boost the economy of the host country.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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