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Nowadays, many celebrities are using their fame to fundraise for charity. What are the pros and cons of this trend?

Nowadays, many celebrities are using their fame to fundraise for charity. What are the pros and cons of this trend? gAgjL
these days, it seems that voluntary activities especially raising charitable money are much in vogue in the entertain superstar community. patently, this phenomenal brings about both ample advantages likewise disadvantages which will be discussed in this essay. there is absolutely a series of benefits that charity works could conferred from a celebrity. first, celebrities are those who can easily obtain people's trust by their popularity and prestigious. consequently, their fame will enlarge the range of people come to the donation which means the amount of money will be increased as well. this also assists disadvantage people and dwellers from deprived areas more. personally, I believed this must to be the dominant purpose every other fund raise activities. secondly, famous persons also employed these works as a strategy to build up a good figure in the eyes of the public. in such a case, charitable works are the one bring benefits to celebrities. in contrary with the positive side of this affair, this type of charity is believed to establish multi drawbacks. it is not an abnormal problem to the public in today modern's society when we talk about famous stars take the advantage of people's trust to implement illegal task anymore. they literally just defraud their fans who support them unconditionally also their audiences that actually be manipulated to trust them. it is supposed that this action must be traced to the bottomless cupidity of humans. in addition, due to the fact that these people might be have a huge influence but they are still not an expert in managing receipts and expenditures. it is possible for them to make errors if the numbers are just way too great. there are a mass of movie stars and singers who have been criticized because of the inaccuracy that they made from their charitable fund that they raised in the past. to conclude, we could observe valid opinions of the problem, conversely the positive effects still outweight the negative ones. therefore, fund raise for charity is believed to be a beneficial activity for the society but people just have to have an insight perception in order to avoid fraudulent acts
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
days, it seems that voluntary activities
especially
raising charitable money are much in vogue in
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'entertain' is correct. If 'entertain' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the entertain
superstar community.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
patently
, this phenomenal brings about both ample advantages
likewise
disadvantages which will
be discussed
in this essay.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
is
absolutely
a series of benefits that charity works could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "confer"
conferred
from a celebrity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
, celebrities are those who can
easily
obtain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's trust by their popularity and prestigious.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
, their fame will enlarge the range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the donation which means the amount of money will
be increased
as well
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
also
assists disadvantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and dwellers from deprived areas more.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
personally
, I believed this
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
be the dominant purpose every other fund raise activities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
persons
also
employed these works as a strategy to build up a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
figure in the eyes of the public.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
such a case, charitable works are the one bring benefits to celebrities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
contrary with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of this affair, this type of charity
is believed
to establish multi drawbacks.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is not an abnormal problem to the public in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
modern's society when we talk about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
stars take the advantage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's trust to implement illegal task anymore.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
literally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
defraud their fans who support them
unconditionally
also
their audiences that actually
be manipulated
to trust them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is supposed
that this action
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be traced
to the bottomless cupidity of humans.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition, due to the fact that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might be
Consider using the past participle "had"?
have
a huge influence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
still
not an expert in managing receipts and expenditures.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is possible for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
errors if the numbers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
way too great.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are a mass of movie stars and singers who have
been criticized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the inaccuracy that they made from their charitable fund that they raised in the past.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
conclude, we could observe valid opinions of the problem,
conversely
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
outweight
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
, fund raise for charity
is believed
to be a beneficial activity for the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have an insight perception in order to avoid fraudulent acts
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many celebrities are using their fame to fundraise for charity. What are the pros and cons of this trend?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
357 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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