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it is important to keep more friends than older friends

it is important to keep more friends than older friends y76jD
Some people argue that it is important to keep more friends than older friends, however, it is always better to have older friends than new friends. I totally agree, that it is extremely important to have gray friends, because they will help you in difficult time and advised you whenever you needed. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, old friends understand you better than new friends. To be more specific, old friends always intend to help, because they connected with emotions. Furthermore, always stand behind you in your difficult times. On the contrary, new friends will know you only superficially. On the other hand, they will help you superficially, whenever, you need them. My personal experience is a compelling example for this. When I was pursuing my Post graduate degree in Biotechnology degree, I had to perform a experiment related to the bacteria Quorum sensing activity. Furthermore, I was performing this experiment several times. However, I was not able to get proper results. Consequently, I talked to one of my old buddy for help. Consequently, after listing to my problem she helped me not only in the experiment at her university but also she offered me to stay at her place for a month. As a result, I was able to perform my experiment at her Laboratory and I published that data in the renowned journal with high Impact factor. A you see, If my old companion had not helped me in my experiment, I would not have published my research data. Second of all, Old friends always give you right advice compared to the new friends. In other words, old buddies often give you right suggestions, If you got stuck somewhere, also you would required right advice from them. On the other hand, new friends might give you wrong suggestions and ideas. From my instance, When I was applying for masters degree in abroad. I had to clear the TOEFL exam to get admission in the USA. Further, I was facing problem in the reading section and I used to score less. Subsequently, I joined one online group, who were preparing for the TOEFL exam. Next, I discussed my problem with them and they had given me very different strategies for reading section of the test. Accordingly, I started practice my test. On the contrary, I was scoring less, What I used to get. Afterwords, I discussed my problem to one of my friends, who recently took her test, she explained me every step-by step process to improve the score. Consequently, I applied her strategies, Hence i was able to scored more in reading section of the test. In conclusion, I strongly feel that having old friend is always better than having several new buddies, as they understand you better and they will give you right advice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
argue that it is
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important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
more
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friends
than older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
however
, it is always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to have older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, that it is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have gray
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friends
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you in difficult time and advised you whenever you needed. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
understand you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
always intend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they connected with emotions.
Furthermore
, always stand behind you in your difficult times.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
will know you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
superficially
.
On the other hand
, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you
superficially
, whenever, you need them. My personal experience is a compelling example for this. When I was pursuing my Post graduate degree in Biotechnology degree, I had to perform
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
related to the bacteria Quorum sensing activity.
Furthermore
, I was performing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
several times.
However
, I was not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper results.
Consequently
, I talked to one of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
buddy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
Consequently
, after listing to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
at her university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
she offered me to stay at her place for a month.
As a result
, I was able to perform my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
at her Laboratory and I published that data in the renowned journal with high Impact factor.
Possible typo. Did you mean "A" or "you"?
A you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, If my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
companion had not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
, I would not have published my research data.

Second of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
advice compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
buddies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
suggestions, If you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
stuck somewhere,
also
you would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "require"
required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
advice from them.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
suggestions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. From my instance, When I was applying for
For an academic degree, use "master’s".
masters
degree in abroad. I had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the TOEFL exam to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in the USA.
Further
, I was facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in the reading section and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to score less.
Subsequently
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
one online group, who were preparing for the TOEFL exam.
Next
, I discussed my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
strategies for reading section of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.
Accordingly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
practice my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.
On the contrary
, I was scoring less, What I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
. Afterwords, I discussed my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to one of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, who recently took her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
me every step-by step process to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the score.
Consequently
, I applied her strategies,
Hence
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was able to scored more in reading section of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
feel that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
is always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than having several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
buddies, as they understand you
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
better and
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
advice.
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IELTS essay it is important to keep more friends than older friends

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
480 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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