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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. 6xlaK
Yes, I too believe that famous people are being celebrated for their lavish lifestyle and glamorous looks rather than their talent, which is making youngsters believe in show off. My stand is explained further with reasons and examples in upcoming paragraphs. The mainstream media often writes cover stories on the high end fashion and expensive lifestyle of the famous personalities. These people didn’t get fame overnight. There is a lot of hard work and struggle behind the success. But in the shine of their lavish lifestyle and glamour all this hard work gets ignored and people only notice their way of life, especially the youth. For instance, we all saw the recent cover article in Forbes magazine on “Tom cruise”. The entire article was revolving around real estate, cars, the private jet and social life of Tom cruise. But the success story of Tom Cruise is filled with his struggle. Today’s youth believes in show off as the social media has limited the vision of the youth only to the likes and comments they get on their social media posts or the count of the followers they have on social networking sites. There is the “social pressure” on the youth to maintain that lifestyle to look more like a celebrity which leads them to adopt a fake lifestyle and buy the unnecessary expensive things, if failed to do so some youngsters become suicidal or end up as a criminal. In conclusion, the measurement of success on the basis of glamour and wealth is pressurizing the youth to fake their success by maintaining the fake lifestyle which results in some youth taking the crime path or even worse, the life ending decisions.
Yes, I too believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
being celebrated
for their lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and glamorous looks
rather
than their talent, which is making youngsters believe in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off. My stand is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
further
with reasons and examples in upcoming paragraphs.

The mainstream media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
writes cover stories on the high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
fashion and expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fame overnight. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and struggle behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the shine of their lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and glamour all this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
notice their way of life,
especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
.
For instance
, we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the recent cover article in Forbes magazine on “
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Tom cruise
”. The entire article was revolving around real estate, cars, the private jet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Tom cruise
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
story of Tom Cruise
is filled
with his struggle.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
believes in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media has limited the vision of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to the likes and comments they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media posts or the count of the followers they have on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites. There is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“social
pressure” on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
to maintain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
to look more like a celebrity which leads them to adopt a fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the unnecessary expensive things, if failed to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters become suicidal or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up as a criminal.

In conclusion
, the measurement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
on the basis of glamour and wealth is pressurizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
to fake their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
by maintaining the fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
which results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
taking the crime path or even worse, the life ending decisions.
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IELTS essay Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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