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It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? 9Law0
Nowadays, having a holiday or taking a break right after schooling has become increasingly popular. For many people, it acts as a stress buster and it helps them to plan their career. However, there are both pros and cons of doing this. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why having a break after school is important and some of the challenges to be overcome. Firstly, Let's begin with the advantages of having year off, after secondary education it helps people to understand the outside world. What I meant by this is that it helps in building their career. For instance, Not all people prefer to study further in a university right after school. It is because they have their own dreams. This can make them understand whichever path they are willing to decide. Secondly, It acts as a refresher for some people. For example, Some students are stressed by having a long secondary education and they always wanted to have a break in order to refresh themselves. In addition, it helps majority of people to focus more on their professional development. Turning to the other side of the argument there are few disadvantages of having year off. To be more precise it also affects the person's professional growth. Let's use organization as an example. Most of the firms don't prefer a candidate who had break in their education. This often leads to rejection of a particular candidate. Another issue is that it can affect the individual if they fail to plan it appropriately and this often leads to wastage of time. In conclusion, Although there are convincing arguments on both sides of the debate. Personally, I believe the benefits in terms of having time off eventually outweigh any negatives.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a holiday or taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
right after schooling has become
increasingly
popular. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it acts as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to plan their career.
However
, there are both pros and cons of doing this. In this essay, I will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons why
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
having


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
after school is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
challenges to
be overcome
.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
year off, after secondary education it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to understand the outside world. What I meant by this is that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in building their career.
For instance
, Not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to study
further
in a university right after school. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
dreams. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand whichever path they are willing to decide.

Secondly
, It acts as a refresher for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
students are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a long secondary
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
education and
they always wanted to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
in order to refresh themselves.
In addition
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to focus more on their professional development.

Turning to the other side of the argument there are few disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
year off. To be more precise it
also
affects the person's professional growth.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
organization as an example. Most of the firms don't prefer a candidate who had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
in their education. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to rejection of a particular candidate.

Another issue is that it can affect the individual if they fail to plan it
appropriately
and this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to wastage of time.

In conclusion
, Although there are convincing arguments on both sides of the debate.
Personally
, I believe the benefits in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
time off
eventually
outweigh any negatives.
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IELTS essay It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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