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Now the trend is reduce the family size what is the cause of this trend and possible effect to the society

Now the trend is reduce the family size what is the cause of this trend and possible effect to the society JwY7w
Nowadays almost every country saw a vast growing development of countries infrastructure, modernise as well as small family size. This essay will discuss the main reasons of this epidemic and the describe the possible effects of the problem to the society. In my opinion, the foremost causes of smaller family are birth control and get the job outside of the state. Today majority parents are more conscious about their children life and education. That's why they want to one or two children instead of having more than twice. The main reasons of this trend is quality of livelihood because it is more tough for parents to pay attention more children at a time. Another reasons of this trend is money cause to grow more children need more expenditure. Moreover many people are offered by other state companies for job. Meanwhile they are not agree to bring their parents with them and show many meaningless reasons. For example in my country around 50% people live without their parents which is roughly higher than before. The possible effects of this problem include economic growth and poverty line. First of all, less young generation means less effect on economic regrowth and that will a huge concern for nation. Besides military strengthen will suffer enormously. However it has some positive effects on poverty line and environmental pollution. Likewise less crowded place means lower pollution rate and higher portion of job opportunities. To sum up, small family size has fallen due to birth control and education that has both positive and negative impacts. Regardless of any impacts, it is likely to continue almost every country as countries development and wealthier.
Nowadays almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a vast growing development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
infrastructure,
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernise' is British English.
modernise
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
family size. This essay will discuss the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of this epidemic and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the possible effects of the problem to the society.

In my opinion, the foremost causes of smaller family are birth control and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the job
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the state.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
majority
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parents
are more conscious about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
life and education. That's why they want to one or two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
instead
of having more than twice. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of this trend is quality of livelihood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more tough for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to pay attention more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a time. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of this trend is money cause to grow more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need more expenditure.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are offered
by other state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
for job.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
they are not
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
to bring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
meaningless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
For example
in my
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country
around 50%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
which is roughly higher than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

The possible effects of this problem include economic growth and poverty line.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, less young generation means less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on economic regrowth and that will a huge concern for nation.
Besides
military strengthen will suffer
enormously
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on poverty line and environmental pollution.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
less crowded place means lower pollution rate and higher portion of job opportunities.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
family size has fallen due to birth control and education that has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts. Regardless of any impacts, it is likely to continue almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
development and wealthier.
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IELTS essay Now the trend is reduce the family size what is the cause of this trend and possible effect to the society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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