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News media influenced people's lives in negative way

News media influenced people's lives in negative way kYgkN
Present Era is a era where the world is depend on the news media to know current affairs that take place around the Creations. Certain individuals believe that these days news. com bring some kind of negative impact as they are away from their fundamental duties. I completely agree to the statement as the focus more towards benefits rather than their duties. It is true that both printed and vision media plays an important role in every individual life. Because people always want to know about the incident happened around the world but now a days this media turned out to be profit oriented business and they pay more attention towards increasing their viewership. Moreover they implement different strategies which in result increase their net earning and increase subscribers.
Present Era is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
era where the world is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on the news media to know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs that take place around the Creations. Certain individuals believe that these
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
news.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact as they are away from their fundamental duties. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the statement as the focus more towards benefits
rather
than their duties. It is true that both printed and vision media plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in every individual life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always want to know about the incident happened around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
this media turned out to be profit oriented
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
business and
they pay more attention towards increasing their viewership.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
they implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
strategies which in result increase their net earning and increase subscribers.

IELTS essay News media influenced people's lives in negative way

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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