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New days, it is thought that people have many choices ?? To what extended do you agree or disagree?

New days, it is thought that people have many choices? ? AjJJx
Recently, around the world, it has been believed that there are a variety of choices for people. I extremely agree with this correct idea. In the following essay, the reasons for my agreement will be discussed. To begin with, the main cause of being many options to make a decision for people is technology. Apparently, technology has progressed and developed in new days. Moreover, development in technological world makes too many choices for the public. Because many of information and options around the world can be available. For instance, finding a lot of datas and different electronic gadgets brands by searching on the online network websites can be a sign of increasing choices. Therefore, when people are used to using technology, many factors will be for them. Additionally, there is another reason for feeling many choices for people. Moreover, When globalization has appeared, people can have more decisions. Also, Globalization which makes the world smaller is influential to be familiar many subjects and matters in other societies. For example, availability of information about other cultures, economics or politics situations. Therefore, the more people be familiar and know other conditions in countries, the more choices they will have. In conclusion, in my view, globalization and technology create many positions to chose for people. So, a lot of factors for making decisions have been observed for the public.
Recently, around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, it has
been believed
that there are a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this correct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. In the following essay, the reasons for my agreement will
be discussed
.

To
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begin
with, the main cause of being
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many
options to
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make
a decision for
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people
is
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technology
.
Apparently
,
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technology
has progressed and developed in new days.
Moreover
, development in technological
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world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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choices
for the public.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of information and options around the
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world
can be available.
For instance
, finding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
datas
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
electronic gadgets brands by searching on the online network websites can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of increasing
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choices
.
Therefore
, when
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people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to using
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technology
,
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many
factors will be for them.

Additionally
, there is another reason for feeling
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many
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choices
for
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people
.
Moreover
, When globalization has appeared,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have more decisions.
Also
, Globalization which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
smaller is influential to be familiar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
subjects and matters in other societies.
For example
, availability of information about other cultures, economics or politics situations.
Therefore
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
be familiar and know other conditions in countries, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
they will have.

In conclusion
, in my view, globalization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
positions to chose for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
factors for making decisions have
been observed
for the public.
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IELTS essay New days, it is thought that people have many choices? ?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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