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Individuals cannot alleviate the poverty that exists in the world; it is the responsibility of governments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Individuals cannot alleviate the poverty that exists in the world; it is the responsibility of governments. DlYYj
A highly controversial issue today relates to whether to have a Minimal welfare state is the responsibility of the individual or of the state. I am going to discuss the conditions that governments should offer and their consequences. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view and then explain why I believe the government should provide an affordable quality of life for everyone. There are people who argue in favour of the government policies benefits that could almost eliminate poverty. A government in charge of people poverty and with an active goal of exterminating poverty is mandatory. The main reason for believing this is that one who cannot stand himself or his family may do not have another choice other than to commit crimes. Then the domino effect comes, one prejudice others, others think that have the same right and so on. One good illustration of this is in extreme cases an individual may rob foods or try to steal money to overcome the situation. On the other hand, others believe that people from society may be in charge of other’s poverty as well. It is often argued that people with volunteering or donation, it is also possible to delete cases of extreme poverty. People often have this opinion because it is a claim for human empathy: when a collaborative effort of the community is a strong asset to solve common problems. A second point is that is easy to wait that governors solve all our problems while people are able to do their part as well. A particularly good example here is nonprofit organizations that offer professional courses to form professional drivers or artisans whose teachers are volunteers. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I feel that it is the main responsibility of the state. Even if individuals may help considerably with their volunteering. In future, it is going to be clearer that the collaborative effort from society and government will accelerate the solution and minimize poverty.
A
highly
controversial issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to whether to have a Minimal welfare state is the responsibility of the individual or of the state. I am going to discuss the conditions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should offer and their consequences. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide an affordable quality of life for everyone.

There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who argue in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
policies benefits that could almost eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in charge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and with an active goal of exterminating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is mandatory. The main reason for believing this is that one who cannot stand himself or his family may do not have another choice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than to commit crimes. Then the domino effect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
, one prejudice others, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that have the same right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is in extreme cases an individual may rob foods or try to steal money to overcome the situation.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from society may be in charge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
as well
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with volunteering or donation, it is
also
possible to delete cases of extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a claim for human empathy: when a collaborative effort of the community is a strong asset to solve common problems. A second point is
that is
easy to wait that governors solve all our problems while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to do their part
as well
. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example
Did you mean "here are nonprofit organizations"?
here is nonprofit organizations
that offer professional courses to form professional drivers or artisans whose teachers are volunteers.

In conclusion
, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance,
however
, I feel that it is the main responsibility of the state.
“Even if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even if
individuals may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
considerably
with their volunteering.
Did you mean: "In the future"?
In future
, it is going to be clearer that the collaborative effort from society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will accelerate the solution and minimize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
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IELTS essay Individuals cannot alleviate the poverty that exists in the world; it is the responsibility of governments.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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